


Fighting For A Future Imperfect

by RobinShellyFoster



Series: The 100 [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Action/Adventure, F/F, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-06-25
Packaged: 2018-06-09 15:46:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 21,742
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6913339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RobinShellyFoster/pseuds/RobinShellyFoster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This story begins mid-3x07 and deviates from there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Separation

The barest hint of sunrise was beginning to glow on the distant horizon.  The city of Polis would wake soon.  Their Commander stood watching over them, a sentry, her own sleep impossible.

Lexa, arms folded against the chill of the night air on the high balcony, looked out over her city.  Her people.  It normally gave her a sense of peace, but not this night.  

She blinked hard, drawing in a breath of the sharp air, as if hoping when she opened her eyes again the events of the previous day would be changed.  But when she opened them, the city still slept and she was still alone.

Being the Commander had always been a solitary existence.  She had accepted that long ago.  But she’d never felt quite so empty as she did now. 

She spared a glance back into the dark room behind her, the candles all but burned out, leaving deep shadows… ghosts.  Ghosts of Clarke.  Her room.  Her bed.  Lexa’s eyes drifted to the drawing papers and charcoal left behind on the bedside table.  She could almost convince herself that Clarke was still there, buried under the furs just out of view, having set her drawings aside before falling asleep.

Almost.

Lexa gazed out towards the growing dawn, her mind drifting back to the previous day.  When Clarke was still there.  When Clarke was hers, if only for a few hours.  Her chest tightened with emotion as the memories of touching her, kissing her, filled her mind.  The reality of it had been so much more than she had imagined.  Perfect.  Powerful.

She closed her eyes again, remembering.  Her fingers tingled as if she could still feel Clarke’s skin under them as she traced every curve.  

And again as she gently rested her hand against Clarke’s cheek as they said their goodbyes just inside the stable.  Neither of them spoke.  They stared at each other, memorizing the moment.  Clarke leaned in to Lexa’s touch and placed a hand over hers.

“Be careful,” Lexa finally broke the silence, her voice quiet and rough, her throat tight with suppressed emotion.

Clarke pulled her hand to her lips and kissed her palm gently before releasing it, their time at an end.  “You too,” she answered, her brow bunching, forcing control over her features as her eyes filled with unshed tears.

“Clarke, it’s time,” an impatient voice said from the entry.

Clarke looked over her shoulder and nodded at Octavia, silhouetted against the bright light of afternoon outside. When she turned back to Lexa, she forced a small smile.

Lexa nodded subtly.  “Ride hard and you’ll make it to the blockade before dawn,” she said, fighting to remain in control.  “If you don’t make it, Indra will…”

“We’ll make it,” Clarke interrupted with compelled conviction.

Lexa nodded again and handed her the reins to the white horse saddled and ready.  Clarke took them and could only spare a quick glance back at Lexa, because any more and she would change her mind.  She led the horse towards the bright doorway, leaving Lexa where she stood.  At the last moment she paused, looking back.  Lexa’s eyes were on her.

“We _will_ meet again,” she said, forcing that same certainty in her voice she always did when she was trying to will something to be true.

Lexa swallowed and nodded, “Until then.”

And with that Clarke was gone, riding fast to make it past the blockade with Octavia and Indra before the dawn broke.

Lexa had gone back to her own room then, but the solitude provided no comfort.  Against what she knew was better judgement, she wandered to Clarke’s room.

 

She squinted, almost flinching at the memory, her mouth drawing tight.

 

She walked into Clarke’s room, startled to find one of the Skaikru, badly beaten and tied to a chair.  And Titus, Skaikru weapon in hand, raised towards her.

All color drained from the Flamekeeper’s face as he realized that instead of Clarke, it was Lexa who stood before him.

“Commander, I…” he stammered.

Her senses on high alert, the hairs on the back of her neck instantly on end, she narrowed her eyes.  She glanced from the wide eyed Skaikru prisoner, back to her teacher.  “What is this?” she hissed dangerously.

Titus dropped the gun as if it suddenly burned his skin.  

Lexa began to stalk towards him, slowly like an animal on prey, “You were waiting for Clarke,” she realized.

Titus began to back up, shaking his head.  “I meant only to frighten her, Heda.  She is putting you in mortal danger.  It must stop or…”

“Enough.  We’ve had this conversation before.  And as I’ve already told you, an attack on Clarke is an attack on me.” She stopped, mere inches from him, her head low and eyes dangerous. “Clearly you don’t trust me.  And I can no longer trust you.”

Titus moved his lips as if to speak but no sound came from him.

“Guards!” she yelled in Trigedasleng, her eyes daring him to make a move.

The two guards rushed in, hesitating at the scene.

“Seize the Flamekeeper.  Lock him away until I can deal with him,” she commanded.

“Heda, please!” Titus pleaded as the guards took him. 

Her eyes fell to the gun Titus had dropped on the floor and her hands balled into fists to force them not to shake.  If Clarke had returned to her room instead of going directly to the stables with her… her eyes slammed closed.  

At a muffled sound behind her they snapped open again and she turned, looking over the Skaikru prisoner.  He was unfamiliar to her.  She walked to him slowly and met his wild eyes a moment before reaching up to remove his gag.

“Who are you?” she demanded coldly.

“No one," he said roughly.

With a hand under his bloody chin, she raised his head until he met her eyes, burning with barely contained fury.  "I have very little patience.  Speak!"

"Murphy.  John Murphy."

She eased her faced away from him, forcing herself to breathe. "What did Titus want with you?"

"Clarke.  He wanted to know how to break Clarke." He managed a weak, rueful smile. "He must not have known her that well."

Lexa eased back further at this, dropping her hand. "No, he did not.”  She pulled her knife and Murphy flinched.  She paused, then moved slowly to reach behind him and with a quick flick of the deadly blade, cut away the bindings holding his hands.

"There is a kill order on all Skaikru that begins at dawn for anyone beyond five miles from Arcadia." She cut the bindings on his feet as he painfully rubbed his wrists.  “I will provide a horse for you. If you hurry you might catch up to Clarke and Octavia at the blockade."

"They're just going to march back in to Arcadia?"

"They are going to attempt to take out Pike."

Murphy huffed out a chuckle.  "Pike should be the least of their worries."

Lexa stopped cold and turned back to him slowly.  "What are you talking about?"

"Pike's a tyrant but it's Jaha and his chipped followers that are the real threat.  Hell, he could have all of Arcadia under her control now."

Lexa stalked toward him.  "Explain," she demanded.

 

Lexa stopped just inside the threshold of Titus's domain, looking around warily.  Murphy walked in ahead of her, holding his arms wide and turning back to her.  "This." He fished in his pocket and pulled out the small chip, holding it up between his fingers for her to see, "And this."

He told her of ALLIE and the destruction of the world so many years ago.  He explained the 13th station, and it’s name.  He spoke of The City of Light and it’s false promise.  And of Jaha and his crusade.

 

She’d asked very little.  Showed very little reaction. After a time, when they left the lair and retuned to the tower, she’d ordered medical care, clean clothes and place to rest for Murphy, all the while making sure he’d remain under guard.  

Then she’d gone far underground, to the holding cells.  To Titus.  

He sat hunched with his head in his hands when she approached.  At the sound of movement,  his head raised and he shot to his feet.  “Heda, please allow me to explain.”

Lexa dismissed the guards, her eyes staring him down unrelentingly.

“Heda…”

“Shop of, Titus,” she commanded.  She began a slow circling pace in front of his cell, once again stalking her prey.  “The only thing I am here to discuss is this.”

She stopped in front of him, holding up the Key that had previously been in Murphy’s possession.

Titus stumbled back and sat as if struck.

“Why does this have the mark of our sacred symbol? The mark of the Commander? How can it be that Skaikru is in possession of a Flame?” She demanded.

“It… it is not the Flame, Heda.  It is… something else,” he said.  “And I fear it forebodes very dark times to come.” He pushed himself to stand again, walking carefully towards her, raising his hands in surrender.  “Skaikru cannot be allowed to hold something that is potentially so powerful.  You _must_ see that.”

She took a slow deliberate step towards him, her voice low.  “What I see, Titus, is a traitor.”

With that she spun and left him standing alone, defeated.

 

On the balcony hours later, Lexa studied the Key, turning it over and over in her palm.  In her mind, she re-played the stories John Murphy had told her.  The City of Light.  An Artificial Intelligence.  

She reached up and absently rubbed the back of her neck, feeling the ridges of the old scar.  The scar from the Flame now covered by a tattoo of the sacred symbol.  Could it be believed that the first Commander came from the sky?

And was Murphy right that Clarke and Octavia were racing headlong into a situation they had all gravely miscalculated? She closed her fist around the small chip and glanced up to watch as the first bright edges of the sun broke over the distant horizon. 

Dawn.

* * *

Clarke pulled hard on the reins of her horse as they crested a ridge and looked back in the direction of Polis.  Towards Lexa.

They had been driving their horses hard for hours and would be nearing the blockade soon.  The force and effort of the ride had required complete focus and she’d had to push all thoughts of Lexa away to navigate at the speed needed. 

For a moment, she could almost imagine she could see the flame, the very tip of the tower in Polis, miles away.  She knew Lexa would be watching, staring out into the forest as if they might be able to see each other one more time.  But it was a false hope, her logical brain told her.  Who knew when they would see each other again?  If the next time they met would be in friendship or in war?

She felt her stomach clench and tears sting the back of her eyes at the injustice of it.  They had been so close to peace over and over again.  Each time thwarted.  Each time managing to wrestle the chance for peace back into their grasp, only for it to be ripped away yet again.

A part of her, a large part of her if she were honest, wanted to forget her people.  Forget her obligations to them.  They had brought this upon themselves, a voice in her mind argued.  But then the faces of those she loved; her mother, Raven, Monty and Jasper, even Bellamy.  How could she leave them?  How could she not try? 

She glanced behind her where a steadily increasing glow was starting to chase away the night.  The sun would break soon.

She spared a last glance towards Polis before turning her horse and pushing it onwards towards Arcadia.

 

 


	2. Infiltration

THWACK!

Clarke startled awake, grabbing the pistol in her lap and pointing it with both hands before her eyes were even fully open.  Two dead rabbits laid at her feet.  She looked past the flames of the campfire and saw the back of a figure; dressed in black, dark braided hair spilling down her back.  Her heart clenched and picked up speed.

The figure turned and walked into the circle of the fire light revealing Octavia.

Clarke lowered her gun and tried to push away the disappointment.  Logic told her it couldn’t have been Lexa, but her heart…  Her heart was far from being governed by her head at the moment.

They had made it to the blockade just as the sun began to peak over the horizon.  The grounder soldiers glared at them as they passed and retreated safely beyond into the woods.  

The sky had quickly turned gray with heavy clouds and it began to rain as they crawled carefully to the top of a ridge, revealing Arcadia in the distant valley.  The gate was closed.  Guards on the towers.  No one visible outside the walls.

They’d tried to radio Kane, but got no response.  Even risking skirting closer through the woods all that answered their hails was static.

Eventually, as the night closed in around them, they decided to make camp about two miles into the cover of the forest beyond Arcadia, warily watching their backs against the blockade on one side, and their own people on the other.

Clarke had started the fire while Octavia went off to hunt for food.  None of them had eaten or slept since leaving Polis more than a day prior.  Indra, who had been quite as a ghost most of the trip, had melted into the darkness without a word when they stopped to rest.

Clarke blinked at the flames, realizing she must have fallen asleep from sheer exhaustion once the fire was going.

Octavia hunched down beside her and began to clean the rabbits.  She held one up to Clarke, showing the poor creature that appeared to have been born with only three legs.

“Not so lucky I guess,” she said darkly, then proceeded to skin it.

“Kind of like us,” Clarke said, staring into the fire.  “Do you think we can get in though the wall passage like we did before?”

Octavia shrugged.  “It’s possible, but without getting through on the walkie…” She looked over at Clarke.  “What if Pike found the radio and locked them all up?  Kane, your mom…”

“Do you think Bellamy would have turned them in?”

Octavia huffed what almost seemed like a laugh, “I wouldn’t put anything past him now.  I don’t know who he is anymore,” she said, shoving the rabbit onto a stick a little more viciously than warranted and resting it above the fire to cook.

After a moment of silence staring into the flames together, Octavia glanced over at Clarke.  “If he does have them locked up, how are we going to get in there and take out Pike?  As much as I’d like to, we can’t do it on our own.  He’s too strong in camp.”

Clarke met her gaze and shook her head, “I don’t know.”

Suddenly Octavia grabbed her knife and cocked her arm ready to throw it as a figure materialized out of the dark across the fire.  Indra pushed off her hood, barely meeting their gazes.  “The blockade is holding. They haven’t seen any Skaikru except for you since dawn,” she reported.  Then she sat down and made her place near the flames as far from them as she could.

Octavia lower her arm, firing the knife into the dirt instead.  

“Good.  At least they’re taking it seriously,” Clarke said.

“For now,” Octavia added, her eyes watching Indra’s now still form across the flames.  “Pike attacked an unarmed peacekeeping force.  I doubt he’s going to sit by long with an actual army surrounding him.  He’ll attack.  It’s just a matter of when”

Clarke felt a chill run through her at the thought.  She settled her back against the tree trunk behind her and pulled her coat more tightly around her.  Lexa’s coat, she was immediately reminded as her familiar scent filled her senses from the leather and fur.  She indulged herself a moment, pulling the fur lining against her face and breathing in deeply.  She was exhausted to the bone and as her eyes grew heavy and began to close again, she imagined she could see Lexa’s face, green eyes and the lips underneath tipping into a rare smile.  And then she slept.

 

Murphy pushed open the door to Titus’s lair.  His new shadows, Lexa’s guards, remained outside.  He glanced around quickly taking in the details he’d been to preoccupied by being tortured to notice before.  

The Commander had asked, or rather _commanded_ , that he find whatever other information about the Flame and the first Commander that he could, given his unique knowledge of both Skaikru and now Grounder history.  In no position to argue, and if he were honest, curious himself, he’d returned to his former place of torment as _commanded_.  He rolled his eyes to himself.

He went straight to the Polaris escape pod.  This was the source, he knew.  This is where the first Commander had come from. She had been in space.  She was one of them.  And some important detail in the pod could have been easily overlooked by Titus and those before him who didn’t understand what they were looking at.

That is also where he’d seen the case, sitting inside the pod as if on a pedestal or sacred altar.  There was some significance to that or what was inside it, so he started there.  He popped the latch and opened it, revealing a rectangular object wrapped in red fabric and what looked like a flight suit patch reading COMMANDER attached to it.  He ran his fingers over the patch, knowing there was no way the stitching was made by Grounders.

He unwrapped it revealing a well worn leather-bound journal and a small tin with a skull painted on it’s lid.  He slid the lid of the tin open.  It was empty.  Tossing it aside he went to the book and began flipping through the pages.  His eye caught on an image and his fingers quickly found the page.  He stared at the drawing trying to make sense of it.  It appeared to be the back of someone’s head with an incision and something that looked eerily like Jaha’s chip with tendrils reaching into it.

“What the hell…” he muttered.

Suddenly the door behind him slammed shut with a sharp BANG.  He slapped the book closed and lowered the lid to the case before spinning around.  

Then he frozen.

The last person he expected to see was standing alone in the doorway.  He smiled slowly.

Emori grinned back.

 

Lexa watched from her throne as the 12 clan ambassadors filed in and took their places.  She tried not to look at the empty spot where Clarke normally stood.  Instead she focused on the matter at hand. 

The ambassadors were glancing at each other and exchanging a few quiet words.  She knew the source of their confusion was the absence of Titus beside her.  She raised her chin and addressed the room in a strong voice.

“Titus has been arrested for treason,” she announced in Trigedasleng without preamble.  “He defied my explicit orders and will pay the same price as anyone who directly disobeys my orders.”

The murmurs increased. She held up her hand for silence and turned her attention to the new Trikru delegate, a warrior she knew as Hassan.  “Is the blockade in place?”

Hassan nodded.  “Yes Heda. At last report there has been no sighting of Skaikru since Wanheda passed through just before dawn.

Lexa showed no outward reaction at the news.  She fought the sudden urge to glance at Clarke’s empty spot on the dais.  Instead, she nodded in satisfaction of the information.  “Good.” She turned her attention back to the room. “A new Flamekeeper will be chosen from the apprentices within the day.  I will not…”

Shouting and a commotion from the entrance to the throne room interrupted her and Lexa stood slowly as she recognized the intruder.  The guards by the throne drew their swords and stepped up next to the Commander.

Ontari stopped in the center of the room, a dozen armed Ice Nation soldiers in her wake.    She leveled her gaze at Lexa and smirked. “Heda.”

“What is the meaning of this?” Lexa ground out angrily, hands balling into fists at her sides.

“It is time Heda.”  Ontari’s smirk grew wider, her eyes glinting darkly.  “Your fight is over.”


	3. Escape

“What the hell are you doing here?” Murphy said, pulling Emori into an embrace.

“I saw you and your new friends strolling through Polis this morning.” She pulled back and motioned towards the door, indicating the guards that she had somehow gotten past. “By the way, they aren’t the smartest.  I’d change the company you keep.”  She smiled.

“Yeah well, the _Commander_ insisted,” he explained, running a hand through his hair.

“The Commander? Now that’s interesting company.  What does she want with you?” Emory asked, starting to stroll around the room, taking in the paintings and trinkets.

“She wants to know about the AI.  It has something to do with the Commander’s ascension… the first Commander… honestly I could care less, but it’s better than being beaten to death.”

 She paused across the room and looked at him, cocking her head to the side.  “Have you found what she’s looking for?”

He shrugged slowly, casting her a sideways smile. “Maybe.”

She began her stroll around the room again, stopping near the escape pod.  She  ran her hand down it’s smooth surface.  She smiled slyly at him, “Come on John, you can tell me.”  She closed the distance between them slowly and reached out, sliding her arms sensuously around his neck.  

He looked into her eyes, smiling, returning the embrace.

She slid her mouth close to his ear, “Tell me,” she whispered.

 

* * *

 

 

“What do you want?” Lexa ground out, eyes flashing dangerously at Ontari.

“I am here to take my rightful place as Commander,” she answered.  

“Even if you kill me, you will still face the other Nightbloods in the conclave.”

Ontari shook her head, her mouth forming a forced look of pity.  “Poor little Nightbloods, they never knew what hit them.”

With that two of the Azgeda soldiers behind her tossed bloody canvas bags on the floor landing with a THUD.

Lexa swallowed hard, her rage spiking.

Ontario’s head cocked to the side, her gaze drifting left a moment, then settling back on Lexa.  “Take her!” she commanded.

The Azgeda soldiers charged the throne.  Lexa pulled her only knife and threw it, felling one guard with a direct hit between the eyes.  Then she wrenched one of the swords making up the throne free and jumped into the fray with her two guards.

They were being forced steadily back.  The guard on her right fell.  She was pushed back further onto the balcony. With a slice to his thigh, the guard on her left fell leaving her on her own.  Lexa continued to fight then off but was running out of room.  In front of her, clashing swords and Ontari, watching with a maniacal grin, certain of her victory.

Lexa felt the balcony edge behind her.  With a tremendous swing of her sword and a kick, she pushed back two of her three attackers. Then she grabbed the third and tumbled backwards over the edge in a tangle of swords, curtains, limbs and screams.

Everyone in the throne room froze.  Ontari’s smirk died on her face.  She rushed to the balcony edge, looking over to the ground far below.

A crowd was forming around a dark red stain on the ground.  The stain was all that was left.

Ontario turned to face ALLIE, who was now standing next to her.  “We must retrieve her remains.  All of them,” ALLIE said impassively.

Ontario nodded and turned, the remaining of her forces following behind her.  The 12 Ambassadors followed as well, as each one took the Key at sword point.

 

* * *

 

 

Lexa lay still, waiting for the shouting to stop.  After a moment, she glanced up through the darkness at the bright light of the balcony wall above her, the fabric of the curtains from the throne room still lifting lazily in the breeze.  They had reached just far enough for her to swing into the room three floors below.

She closed her eyes and took a minute to slow her breathing, then she sat up and looked around.  She took stock of the crumbling floor and collapsed doorway.  This floor was uninhabited due to it’s poor state.  

She glanced to her right at a blocked, half collapsed doorway.  She walked to it and began to kick hard against it.  With a sudden SNAP it gave way and she almost tumbled through into a gaping abyss with her momentum.  She regained control and glanced around quickly.  As the darkness gave way, she could see the two cables hanging in the center of the space.  She glanced down into the seemingly endless pit of darkness below.

She grabbed the bottom of her shirt and ripped it into two strips, wrapping them around her palms.  Then she steadied herself on the edge before leaping into the cavernous blackness, grabbing and holding on to the cables.  The structure groaned and old concrete crumbled around her.  But after a moment it all settled and the cables held.

She wrapped her feet around the cable and started her controlled slide downwards.

 

* * *

 

The forest was eerily quiet as Clarke, Octavia and Indra road towards Arcadia in the dark pre-dawn hours.  They were skirting the forest edge, making their way slowly to a point where they could view the main gate.

Indra was leading, Clarke and Octavia side by side behind her.  Despite her exhaustion, Clarke had found little sleep.  Every small sound startled her awake.  The forest walls seemed to creep in closer, only serving to increase the foreboding feeling that had begun in the pit of her stomach.

She bent her face into the fur lining of her jacket once more, allowing the last lingering scent of Lexa to filter into her senses and calm her nerves.

“Do you love her?” Octavia’s voice broke through the silence.  Clarke glanced over at her.  “Lexa, I mean,” she added, as if there could be anyone else.

Clarke pulled in a deep breathe and let it out slowly, staring into the forest fog as if it held answers to what suddenly felt like a very complex question.  After a moment, she turned back to look at Octavia who was still watching her carefully.

“It’s complicated,” she decided.

“If it is then you’re not doing it right,” Octavia answered back.  

Clarke looked at her, a small grin edging onto her lips eventually.  Octavia nodded and smiled back.

BANG! RAT-A-TAT! The gunfire shattered the stillness and made them all jump.  They reigned their horses back under control, glancing at one another.  It erupted again and they turned, looking towards the edge of the trees.  It was coming from Arcadia.

Octavia spurred her horse into action, galloping full speed towards the tree break, Clarke and Indra chasing after her.  When they broke through into the open they reined back and paused looking towards the gate.

More gunfire and shouting echoed in the valley.  

“What the hell is going on?” Clarke said.

“I don’t know,” Octavia ground out and began racing towards the gate.  Clarke and Indra followed.

Still 500 yards from the gate, they were startled once again as one of the rovers suddenly burst through the gate with several figures running behind it, firing back into Arcadia.  

“Lincoln!” Octavia shouted, racing onwards, having recognized him as one of the figures behind the rover.

Lincoln glanced up, obviously surprised.  Bullets ricocheted by his feet, snapping his attention back to the matter at hand and he fired back.

“Octavia, get back!” he yelled.

Clarke pulled up closer to the rover.  

“Clarke, get out of the way!”  It was Jasper in the driver seat, screaming at her.

She looked back towards the gates of Arcadia and could make out Kane and her mother, surrounded by more of her people, armed and firing at them.

“Mom?” she yelled, completely confused.

Abby seemed to notice her, but her face remained impassive.  Then she raised her arm, pistol in hand, and began firing at her.  Clarke ducked and spurred her horse in front of the rover.

“Lincoln, what the hell is going on?” Octavia yelled.

“You have to go Octavia!  Stay with the rover!” he told her.

“Not without you!”

“Nico and the others are still inside.”  He spared a moment to glance up and meet her eyes.  “I have to stay and I need you to go.  Please.”

Gunfire erupted around them again and Lincoln fired back, running towards the shooting and back into Arcadia as the rover started again and began to speed away.  Octavia watched in horror as her own people rushed Lincoln and overwhelmed him, dragging him away.  Tears of frustration burning her eyes, she turned her horse and galloped after the rover and Clarke.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Blockade

The rover skidded to a stop in a clearing only a mile from the blockade.

Clarke, Indra and Octavia stopped with them, Clarke and Octavia dismounting and running to the back of the rover.

As the arrived, the door swung open revealing mayhem inside.

Clarke swept the interior wide eyed.

Raven appeared to be unconscious and tied to the roll bar.  Pike was bound and gagged on the floor, a deep red stain on his left thigh from a bullet wound.  Bellamy, automatic weapon looped across his shoulder, crouched near the door.  Monty hunched by Raven, expression grim.

“What the hell is going on?” Clarke demanded.

Bellamy glanced at her but didn’t answer.  Instead he hopped to the ground and pulled Pike out of the back, his body landing with a hard thud.

Behind them the sound of a blade being drawn made them all turn.  Indra stood, murderous gaze focused only on Pike.

“He’s all yours,” Bellamy said to her.

She turned her deathly stare to him a moment before grabbing the rope that bound Pike’s feet and dragging him to her horse.

Clarke took a step towards her, worried from her look that Indra would kill him outright.  “Indra…”

Indra paused but didn’t look at her.

“Will you take him to the blockade?”

Indra tied a rope from her horse to Pike’s feet before she turned back to Clarke.  

Clarke couldn’t blame her for wanting to kill him.  For wanting them all dead really.  Despite Lexa’s decree of Blood Must Not Have Blood, Clarke had been there to witness how hard that concept was for Indra to accept.

Finally Indra spoke, her voice low and strong.  “I will take him to the blockade.  And then he will die slowly from the 300 cuts Trikru will repay him with.”

Clarke nodded once and Indra spun on her heels, mounted her horse and galloped into the trees, dragging Pike behind her.

“Guys, we have to move before Raven wakes up.  She can’t see where we’re taking her,” Monty said with urgency.

Clarke shook her head.  “I don’t understand…”

“Where are we going?” Jasper asked.

“We’ll have time to explain later, “ Bellamy interrupted.  

“Dropship?” Octavia suggested.

Monty shook his head, “She’ll know it.”

“Common guys!  We have to move,” Jasper complained from the drivers seat.

Clarke looked at Bellamy, “I know a place we can go.”

* * *

 

Murphy glanced up as a cloaked figure entered and quickly shut the door.  He raised a knife, ready to fight.

The figure pushed off the hood, revealing Lexa, face smeared with dirt and bloody rags wrapped around her hands.  He dropped the knife and scrubbed his hands through his hair.

Lexa looked from Murphy to the unconscious Grounder bound and gagged at the table next to him.

“She’s here,” Murphy said.  Lexa looked back at him.  “The AI, ALLIE, she’s here in Polis.  I don’t know how many…” he paused, taking in her appearance again.  “I’m guessing a lot.”

“Did you find anything?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he said, and pulled the book wrapped in the red fabric from the pocket inside his coat.

“Do you know what it wants?” she asked.

Murphy nodded.  “She wants you.  Or at least what’s inside you.”

Lexa reached up and touched the scar on the back of her neck again.  “How…”

But they were interrupted by shouting outside.

“They’ll know I’m here.  They’re all connected,” he said, grabbing the knife from the table.  “There’s another way out.  It’s hidden so she…” he glanced at the unconscious Emori and paused.  He cleared his throat and started again.  “They won’t know which way we escaped.”

Lexa marched over to a stand of swords across the room grabbing two and a couple knives before turning back to him.

“Let’s go.”

* * *

 

Clarke was pacing the small bedroom at the back of Nyla’s trading post.  She glanced for the hundredth time at Raven, tied to the bed, still unconscious.  Monty and Bellamy had filled her in on Jaha, ALLIE and The City of Light and since then her mind had been racing.

The image of her mother’s blank expression as she raised a gun and shot at her replayed over and over in her mind.  She shook her head to herself, still not believing what was happening.

“Can you stand still for Christ’s sake, you’re giving me a headache,” Jasper grumbled from the corner.  He’d been shooting daggers at her since they’d arrived.  It’s what she’d expected.  It’s why she hadn’t been able to go back to Arcadia after the Mountain, but expecting it didn’t make it hurt any less.

Bellamy, who had been sitting quietly across the room, met her gaze and nodded towards the door.

Clarke followed him out to where Monty was leaning over wooden table working on altering one of their old monitoring bracelets.  Octavia was pacing too, biting her fingers absently while glancing between the door to the trading post and Monty.

“Are you sure this is going to work?” Bellamy asked Monty.

Monty answered without looking up.  “It was Raven’s plan, so yeah.  I mean I think so.”

“What if it… you know… fries her brain or something?” Octavia said.

Monty dropped what he was doing in exasperation and glanced up at all of them.  “Look, we don’t have another choice!”

“O,” Bellamy said calmly, “you didn’t see her.  What she was like.  It wasn’t even her anymore.”

Clarke shuddered at the thought.  

“What does ALLIE want?” Clarke asked, her voice rising in frustration.

Monty bent back over his work and explained, “She wants the second AI.  But Raven thinks that this second AI might actually be the key to stopping her.”

“Where is it?  The second AI?” Clarke asked.

Monty paused again, glancing up at Bellamy.  Octavia noticed the paused and looked from Bellamy to Clarke.  “Before we knocked her out, she actually helped us take down Pike,” Bellamy said.

Clarke shook her head, not understanding.

“To get rid of the blockade,” Octavia said as understanding dawned.

“Yeah and to get to Polis,” Bellamy said.  He looked up meeting Clarke’s eyes. “To get to the Commander.”

“Lexa?” Clarke said, paling instantly at the thought.  She shook her head, her eyes widening as the panic rose.  “But then why did you give Pike to Indra?  The blockade will end.  ALLIE can get to Polis with everyone else in Arcadia.”

“Because if we’re going to stop ALLIE, we need the second AI too.  And we couldn’t get through the blockade,” Monty explained.

“We’re hoping Lincoln and the others can hold them in Arcadia long enough,” Bellamy said.

Clarke turned away from them, her thoughts racing to Lexa.  She didn’t even know about the threat from ALLIE.  She’d never see it coming!

A light touch to her shoulder made her jump.  She glanced over at Bellamy watching her with concern.  He looked like old Bellamy then.  The Bellamy before Mount Weather, before Pike.

“Clarke…” but he was interrupted by the sound of distance signal horns from outside.

Clarke wasted no time making her way into the Trading Post.  Nyla was at the door, listening.

“What is it?  The blockade?” Clarke asked her.

The horns sounded again in a unfamiliar pattern.

Nyla dropped her head.

Clarke walked to her quickly, grabbing her shoulders and practically shaking her.  “Nyla, what is it?”

Nyla looked up at her, meeting her eyes with a teary gaze.  “The Commander is dead.”

 

 

 


	5. Ghosts

The door to the Trading Post burst open and Clarke stumbled out gasping for air.  A loud rushing sound filled her ears and her vision was inexplicably blurry.  She stumbled into the trees, desperately seeking air.  Finally she stopped in the middle of the darkness and dropped to her knees.

_The Commander is dead_. 

She heard Nyla’s voice echo in her head as if from far, far away.  _Lexa. Dead._ She shook her head at the thought and whispered “No, no, not now.”  She buried her face in her hands and recognized somewhere in the back of her mind that she was weeping.

She could vaguely here someone shouting her name, but it was as if she were listening from underwater.

The world came rushing back as hands grabbed her shoulders.  “Clarke!” 

She blinked hard, trying to clear her vision.  Bellamy.  

“Clarke we have to go back in.  It’s not safe out here,” he said urgently.

“She can’t,” Clarke told him.  “She can’t be dead.”

He met her eyes and nodded gently.  “I know.”

“Bellamy!” Monty’s voice called from the Trading Post door.  “I’ve got it!  It’s ready.”

Clarke met Bellamy’s gaze, her expression transforming from desolation to rage in a matter of moments.  Suddenly she was on her feet and marching purposefully back to the Trading Post.

Bellamy, caught off guard at the transition, hurried after her.

Monty held up the bracelet, a triumphant look on his face.  Clarke marched right past him, snatching it from his grasp and headed for the bedroom in the back.

“Clarke,” Octavia called after her, but there was no stopping her now.  She kicked open the bedroom door.  Jasper jumped to his feet, startled.

Clarke’s gaze focused in on the bed, meeting the cold gaze now familiar as those possessed by ALLIE as she glared at Raven.  A slow smile spread across Raven’s lips.  “If you had stayed, at least you would have died together.”

With a feral scream Clarke was suddenly on top of Raven, latched the bracelet around her wrist and said, “Fry bitch!” through gritted teeth.

The bracelet activated and Raven began to convulse.  Clarke watched as if in slow motion, vaguely aware of her friends yelling her name and pulling her off of Raven’s body.

It only took a moment before Raven was still, unconscious once again.

“Jesus Clarke,” Octavia breathed, slowly getting up from the floor where she and Bellamy had pulled her to the ground.

Clarke wrenched her other arm free of Bellamy and pushed herself to her feet, walking slowly to the bed.

“Clarke, don’t,” Monty called in warning.

Clarke raised her hand.   “I’m fine,” she said, her voice ragged.  She reached out to feel Raven’s neck, searching for a pulse.  “She’s alive,” she said.

“But is she, like, her?” Jasper asked.

Silence filled the room as they all held their breath.

Raven moaned and Clarke took a careful step back.

After a moment, her eyes began to flutter open.  She blinked heavily and slowly began trying to process the room as her vision cleared.

Her gaze landed on Clarke and held.

“Thank you,” she whispered, her voice weak.

Monty and Octavia rushed to the bed, overwhelmed with relief that their friend was back.

Clarke stumbled back and sank against the wall, trembling.

 

———

 

Nyla handed Clarke a cup with steaming liquid inside.  When she glanced up numbly, Nyla gently wrapped Clarke’s hands around it.  “Drink,” she said softly.

She felt the warmth of it start to infuse her fingers but inside she still felt frozen.  It was hard to breathe.  Hard to sit.  Hard to stand.  Images of Lexa assaulted her obsessively.  So vital.  So strong.  So alive.  The idea of loosing her caused a pain deep within her that she’d never felt before.  A pain that shut out everything else.  A pain she wasn’t sure there was any way to recovery from.

In the background was the drone of voices from her friends seeming to come in and out of focus. 

“Clarke.  Clarke!” the sound of her name finally penetrated and she glanced over, finding all of them staring at her.

“Well, what do you think?” Octavia asked.

Clarke blinked hard, trying to recall what had been said.  “What?”

“Raven thinks we should go back to Arcadia,” Bellamy explained.

“ALLIE uploaded her code into the Arc server there.  I think I can hack it.  I think I can shut her down,” Raven explained, her voice certain and strong despite the fact she looked as if she hadn’t slept in weeks.  “If Lexa is dead, then ALLIE might already have the second AI.  We have to try another way to stop her.”

Clarke nodded.  “Ok.” 

They all stood, satisfied at having come to an agreement.  “Ok, lets move out,” Bellamy said.

“I’m going back to Polis,” Clarke said, not moving.

Everyone paused, looking back at her.

“Clarke…” Bellamy started.

“I’m going!” she interrupted, her voice loud and unwavering, her eyes cutting to him with an icy resolve.

Bellamy nodded to the rest, “Go on, I’ll meet you at the rover.”  They all filed out, giving Clarke a wide berth.  Bellamy looked back at Clarke as she stared blindly into the cup Nyla had given her.

He dropped down next to her and fell silent a moment.  “I’m sorry,” he said finally.

She looked over at him slowly, meeting his eyes.  

“It’s my fault.  All of it.  If I hadn’t gone with Pike…”

“You’re right,” she interrupted, anger flashing hot in her eyes.  “It is your fault.”

Bellamy dropped his gaze in acknowledgment.

Clarke forced in a deep breath and wrestled for emotional control as she let it out again.  “It’s my fault too,” she said.

Bellamy met her eyes again.  I’m sorry would never be enough for the sins of either of them.

“We need you Clarke,” Bellamy said.  

She shook her head, slamming her eyes closed, tears starting from them again.

“We have to take down ALLIE,” he continued.  “Think about your mom, and Kane.”  

She opened her eyes again, looking at him.  The pain inside her sharpened.  “Ok,” she said, barely a whisper.

 

———

 

“Ok,” she said, wiping the sweat from her eyes and looking at Bellamy.  His plan to take out Emerson was thin and they both knew it, but it was all they had.  While he checked his weapon, she glanced down at her hands.  They were shaking.  She balled them into fists and took a deep breath.

If it came down to it, she was prepared to die.  She’d had enough of other people dying for her mistakes.  And Emerson was definitely a monster of her making if anything was.  She wouldn’t, couldn’t, let her friends pay for that with their lives.

Lexa’s face suddenly resurfaced in her mind and she almost choked on a sob that fought to escape with her next breath.  She wondered if Lexa was right and if their spirits might find each other after death.  She forced the thoughts away and fixed her gaze on the bulkhead separating them and Emerson.

“Let’s go,” Bellamy said.

But she was already moving.

 

———

 

Clarke blinked, her vision swimming.  She felt Emerson’s grip around her throat tighten and she struggled.  She could barely make out the heads of her friends as they started to droop and pass out from lack of oxygen in the airlock.  Their time was up.  She was going to be too late.

She looked back up at Emerson, his face a mask of sweaty rage.  His eyes burned into her with fury and his grip tightened.  

She sucked in what she knew would be the last breath she could take, unable to struggle anymore.  The edges of her vision began to darken.  This was it.

SHUNK.  The sound seemed far away.  She barely registered the change on Emerson’s face.  He looked almost surprised.  Something dark began to run down his face.  Then he dropped from her view and his grip suddenly went lax.

She sucked in a breath, coughing. Gasping.  As she struggled to suck in air, her gaze fell on the corridor and a cloaked figure standing at the end of it.  Another figure rushed past and Clarke frowned at the familiar face as he jumped over her.  Then she heard the WOOSH of air as he re-activated the ventilation system, sending oxygen back into the airlock.

She coughed and suddenly felt strong hands pulling her up from where she was sprawled on the floor.  She tried to fight, the fear of Emerson coming back for her yet again making her struggle instinctively.

“Clarke.”

But their was no malice in the hands the held her this time.

“Clarke!” the voice finally penetrated her oxygen deprived brain.  She stilled and took in another hard breath.  The voice didn’t make any sense so she blinked and shook her head.

Then there was a gentle hand on her face, turning her head towards the one who’d spoken.  Despite her body still screaming for oxygen, her breath caught.  

“Lexa?” she rasped.

“Are you alright?” the ghost said.  Because it must be a ghost.  Wasn’t it?

Clarke reached out a trembling hand and barely touched the face in front of her.  It was solid and warm and the lips beneath her shaking fingers spread into a smile.

“Clarke,” the lips whispered reverently, the green eyes above them spilling tears that made streaks in the dirt on her face.

When the reality hit, that Lexa was there with her, holding her, looking at her, Clarke released a sob and wrapped her arms blindly around her pulling her close.

“I thought you were dead,” Clarke whispered by her ear as she buried her face against her neck.

Lexa pulled her back after a moment and looked into her eyes.  “Aren’t you the one always telling me you need my spirit to stay where it is?”

Clarke let out sound that was part laugh, part sob and leaned her forehead against Lexa’s, closing her eyes.  The pain that had been so acute in her chest began to ease and she wanted to hold on to this moment, hold on to Lexa, for as long as she could.

Emerson’s face suddenly flashed in her mind and she pulled back suddenly as if struck.  Lexa frowned in concern.

“Emerson,” Clarke said, grabbing her shoulders urgently.

“Yeah, I don’t think he’s going to be bothering you any more,” said a familiar voice.  She looked up and recognized Murphy standing by, still supporting Monty as he recovered.

She glanced from him to the floor behind Lexa and saw Emerson, eyes open in the endless stare of death, a knife sunk hilt deep into his temple.

“The warrior princess has quite an aim with that thing,” Murphy said, nodding to Lexa.

Clarke met Lexa’s eyes again, hardly believing what had happened.

“Thank you,” Bellamy’s voice this time.

Lexa looked up and met his gaze.  After a moment, she nodded in acknowledgment, then stood and helped Clarke to stand.

“They said you were dead.  That a new Commander was chosen,” Octavia said, voicing everyone’s confusion.

Lexa nodded.  “Ontari,” she said.

“Robo-Ontari,” Murphy corrected.  “Seems like ALLIE’s made it to the Grounders now too.”

“She attacked me in the throne room.  I managed to escape and at least for a while had her convinced I was dead,” Lexa said.  “I imagine Ontari has declared herself Commander and once that happens I’m afraid most of my people may be lost to ALLIE as well.”

“Jesus,” Octavia said.

“And now you’re leading the entire Grounder army back here.  To us,” Jasper said.

“Jasper, she just saved our lives,” Clarke snapped at him.

“He’s right,” Lexa said calmly.  Clarke started shaking her head but Lexa continued.  “By now she knows I am not dead.  They will be looking for me.  As long as I’m here, I’m putting you all in danger.”

“What about taking her out,” Monty said.  He looked at Raven, who looked half dead herself.  “You said with the second AI you could stop her.”

Raven shook her head, “ I can.  I think.  But it’s going to take time to figure out.  I have to get into ALLIE’s code.”

“How long?” Bellamy asked.

“I don’t know.  Days maybe?”

“Shit!” Jasper kicked the wall and stormed off.

Monty glanced at Raven.  “You should get a little rest first.  I’ll get the systems setup and ready.” He looped his arm around her for support and they limped after Jasper.

“I’ll go,” Lexa said.

“No. No, you’re not leaving,” Clarke insisted, grabbing her arms.

“Clarke,” Lexa said gently, “as long as I’m here I put everything and everyone at risk.”

“Where would you even go? ALLIE’s everywhere now,” Clarke said.

“There is a place that I doubt even ALLIE knows about.  They will help us.  By the time I go and bring them back, maybe Raven will be ready.”

“Luna,” Octavia said.

Lexa looked up, seemingly surprised she knew of her.

“Lincoln spoke of her,” Octavia said by way of explanation.

Lexa frowned.  “Where is Lincoln?”

Octavia’s expression darkened.  “I don’t know.  He stayed back in Arcadia so we could escape.  They were all gone by the time we got back.”

Lexa nodded, knowing what it felt like to be separated from the one you love in the chaos that had engulfed them.  “Yes, Luna,” she said.

“I’m coming with you,” Clarke stated.

Lexa started shaking her head, “Clarke…”

“Me too.”  It was Octavia this time.

“O…” Bellamy started.

“We’re going!” Octavia said, raising her voice with a tone that threatened any objection.  “And you need to stay,” she said to Bellamy.  “You need to defend this place if they come back.”

Bellamy knew that look in his sister’s eyes and he hated it.  He nodded reluctantly.

“Murphy?” he said, turning to the most unlikely of allies.

Murphy looked from Bellamy to Lexa.  “I guess I’ll stick with Heda.  Flamekeeper and all.”

Bellamy looked confused at this and Clarke glanced questioningly at Lexa.

“It’s a long story,” Murphy added.  “So are we going or just standing around waiting for the overlord to murder us?” and he walked off down the corridor.

“I’ll explain later,” Lexa muttered to Clarke.

Bellamy embraced his sister.  “Be careful,” he said.

“Yeah, you know me,” she said.

“Yeah, I do,” he smiled.  She smirked back, then nodded to Clarke and Lexa and headed off after Murphy.

Bellamy’s eyes fell on Clarke a moment, then he offered his hand to her.  “May we meet again.”

She nodded, grasping his arm, “May we meet again.”

Then he watched as she and Lexa disappeared down the hall.

 


	6. Journey

A cold, dreary dawn greeted them as they prepared their horses in the deserted courtyard of Arkadia.  The sky was a muted gray and a fine mist hung in the air. 

Lexa glanced over her saddle at the land beyond the broken gates.  The fog limited their visibility to such a degree it was making her anxious.  An army could surround them without them even knowing.  The idea that her people were now slaves to some… _thing_ made her furious.  Not to mention the fact that she was running.  The Commander should never run from anything.

She tightened her last strap more viciously that warranted and stepped back, closing her eyes and forcing herself to remain calm.

“Lexa,” a voice sounded near her and a gentle hand on her shoulder brought her eyes open again.  She looked down to see Clarke, taking in the crease of concern marring her forehead and the compassion looking back from the depths of her blue eyes.

She felt a flood of calm infuse her body, one of the many effects unique too Clarke’s presence near her.  She let her shoulders relax and allowed the trace of a smile to show on her lips in an effort to ease Clarke’s worry.

Her eyes drifted down and caught on the angry red and purple marks Emerson had left around Clarke’s neck.  She had been so close to being too late.  Turning the corner and seeing Clarke at the hands of the Mountain Man, her eyes closing their last… the rage that had overcome her was like nothing she had experienced.  And terror.  With the sheer terror at the possibility of loosing her, the knife had left her hand without conscious thought.

Lexa reached up and brushed her fingers ever so lightly across the evidence of what almost took Clarke from her.  She felt her pulse beating strong under her fingertips.  Her eyes met Clarke’s again, her emotions unguarded.

Clarke saw what was in her eyes.  The fear, the anger, the longing.  She moved to her, reaching up with both hands, holding her face and kissing her with all of the intensity of the emotions swirling between them.

Lexa held her close, feeling the peace she always felt from their connection.  

When they pulled apart, they rested their foreheads together.  “I thought I lost you,” Clarke whispered.

Lexa drew back only far enough for green eyes to meet blue.  “I’ll always be with you.”  She spoke with such conviction that Clarke could only nod, burying her face in Lexa’s neck, digging her fingers into the fabric of her coat clinging to her as if she might disappear.

“I hate to break up the reunion but we need to get going,” Octavia said from nearby.

Clarke and Lexa pulled apart finding Octavia and Murphy on their horses and ready.

Monty jogged up to them and tossed Octavia a radio that looked like it had some alterations.  “Should have an extended range now.  Not sure how far but…” he shrugged.

Octavia nodded and clipped it to her belt.

Lexa looked back to Clarke and Clarke gave her a discrete nod.

“Round trip should take about five days,” Lexa said to him.  “If you haven’t heard from us…”

Monty nodded, interrupting.  “Ok.”

And with that they mounted their horses and left Arkadia in a gallop, not sparing a look back.

 

_______

 

They rode hard east, their journey made longer as they avoided main roads and gave existing villages a wide berth.  They stopped only briefly to water the horses and rode on until dark.

With a small fire going, all four collapsed, exhausted.  Clarke and Lexa sat together, Murphy and Octavia spread out opposite them across the fire.  

Lexa handed a canteen to Clarke and studied Octavia through the flames.  She held the haunted look of someone who was separated from the other half of her heart.  It was a feeling Lexa now was all too familiar with.

“Murphy,” Clarke spoke, “how did you even get involved in this?  I thought you were with Jaha.”

Murphy absently picked up small sticks and flicked them into the fire.  He explained being locked in the bunker, what he saw on the videos, about Jaha and his complete surrender to ALLIE.  About Titus, the torture, Polaris and the connection to the first Commander.

Clarke was full of questions, but Lexa quieted her with a calming hand on her knee.  “There will be time for questions, but for now I suggest we try to rest.  Tomorrow will be just as hard as today.”

Octavia, unable to rest or sit still any longer pushed to her feet, “I’ll take the first watch,” and she melted into the dark.

Lexa looked at Murphy.  “Give her the book.”

He reached into the coat and pulled out the Flamekeeper’s book, still wrapped in the red fabric and tossed it to her.  “No problem, I’ll sleep better without it.” He turned his back to them and wrapped himself up in his coat to sleep.

Clarke ran her fingers over the Commander patch and glanced up at Lexa, uncertainty in her expression.  Lexa simply nodded and Clarke unwrapped the journal and began looking through it, instantly enthralled.

After a time, she looked up from the page with the illustration of the Flame joining with the new Commander.  She looked at Lexa, her eyes weary but staring into the flames of the fire.

“How much of this did you know?” she asked.

Lexa pulled her gaze from the fire and met Clarke’s eyes.  “Some.  But I look at it differently than you do.  It’s… spiritual.  The AI…” she shook her head, “I don’t understand it.”  She looked at Clarke again.  “And I don’t want to.”

Clarke nodded, knowing how seriously Lexa took the idea of the spirits of the Commanders continuing on after death.  She glanced down at the illustration again for a moment, then back to Lexa.  “They did this to you?” she asked quietly.

Lexa didn’t answer.  Instead she took Clarke’s hand and guided it behind her neck, placing her fingers on the scar.  Clarke’s eyes widened and she shook her head in disbelief, her mouth opening but no words coming out.

Lexa allowed herself a smile.  “Clarke com Skikru, speechless.  That is something I never thought I’d see.”

Clarke swallowed, her mind full with all of the new information.  She shook her head as if to clear it, closed the book wrapping it in the fabric and tucked it inside her coat.  Then she settled her gaze on Lexa.

Lexa held out her arms in invitation, “Come.  Rest.  There is time to think tomorrow.”

Clarke moved into her arms, tucking her head against Lexa’s and pulling her close.  She felt Lexa’s arms wrap around her, warm and familiar.  Then she nuzzled into the furs around Lexa’s neck, breathing in deeply, the comfort of it allowing her eyes to drift closed.

 

———

 

Lexa stood at the entrance to the Mountain, steeling her resolve.  When she could no longer look at the hurt in Clarke’s tear filled eyes she forced herself to turn and walk away.

 _Love is weakness._  

Titus’s voice echoed in her head.  The mantra she’d lived by, coveted, held as law.  And then this girl from the sky was standing in front of her, making her question everything.  

Then she was standing on a shore, facing Clarke again.  This time Clarke’s eyes burned with anger.  It was Clarke that turned and began walking away this time.  Lexa wanted to go after her.  Tried to go after her, but she was unable to move.  

Suddenly Titus stood before her, his expression full of disappointment.  He raised his arm, gun in hand and fired.

 

Lexa jolted awake, grabbing at her chest and gasping.  She blinked.  No Titus.  No shore.  Just the fire and the dark forest.  She glanced down at the cascade of blond hair across her lap.  She reached out, pausing to stop her hand from shaking, and gently ran her fingers through Clarke’s hair.

Clarke’s eyes were closed but her brow was furrowed even in sleep.  Lexa ran her thumb gently along the crease and watched it disappear.  She smiled softly to herself.  But as the images from her dream returned to her, the smile faded and she turned her gaze to the glowing embers.

She gently moved Clarke’s head, avoiding waking her and stood, adding a few new logs and watching them start to burn.  She stepped away into the darkness and found Octavia sitting alert on a fallen tree, her senses trained on the unknown beyond.

Octavia glanced over at her when she stepped up beside her before turning back to the darkness.

“You should try to sleep,” Lexa said, her eyes scanning the forest.

“Can’t,” Octavia said, crossing her arms in defiance.

Lexa turned to look at her then.  “We will find Lincoln,” Lexa said to her in Trigedasleng.  Octavia met her eyes.  “I swear it,” she added in English.

Octavia studied the Commander a moment.  The person who’d ordered her killed, allowed a bomb to drop on her, and turned her back on them at Mt. Weather.  And still, she admired her.  She wanted to have the strength she saw in her.  And  she wanted desperately to believe her.

She swallowed and dropped her arms suddenly feeling the hours upon hours with no rest weighing on her.  Octavia nodded finally and headed back to camp.

Lexa watched her go, then turned her warrior senses to alert for any potential threats that might haunt them in the night.

 

______

 

It was dusk of the next day before the forest surrendered it’s grip on them, finally opening to reveal an endless expanse of sea.

Lexa watched as the Skikru dropped from their horses and stared in wonder at the vastness of it.  She dismounted and tied up the horses before coming to stand next to Clarke.  “Is it much different than you imagined?” she asked quietly.

Clarke looked over at her, tears shimmering in her eyes.  “It’s beautiful.”

Lexa smiled gently at her and Clarke took her hand, entwining their fingers and turned her gaze back to the blue-green water.

Octavia had begun exploring the beach and was circling a distinct pile of stones.  She lifted the radio and, using as vague language as possible in case someone else was listening, reported back to Arcadia that they had arrived.

The response was full of static, having reached well beyond the radio’s range.  But they heard enough to know their message was recieved, giving them all a moment of relief that their friends were still alive.

“What now?” Octavia asked.

“Make a fire.  Then we’ll signal them,” Lexa answered.

 

 

Octavia dropped the pine twigs into the fire as Lexa had shown her and marveled once again at the flare of green light it emitted.

“Now we wait,” Lexa told them.

Clarke rested her head on Lexa’s shoulder as the stars put on an impressive display across the night sky above them.

She wrapped her arm around Lexa’s and threaded their fingers together. 

“Do you see that light that looks like a star slowly moving across the sky?” she said pointing up.

Lexa followed where she was pointing.  “Prom Head,” Lexa said.

Clarke frowned.  “Prom Heda? First Commander?”

“My people say it is the light from the spirit of the first Commander.  It’s a story we’re told from when we’re young.” Lexa explained.

Clarke let out a quiet chuckle.  Lexa glanced at her, confused.  “Is it funny?”

Clarke met her eyes a moment and smiled, “It’s the Ark, or what’s left of it, still in orbit around the Earth.”

Lexa’s eyes widened and she looked back up at the tiny, moving dot.  “That’s where you were?  Up there?”

Clarke nodded, resting her head back on Lexa’s shoulder.  She squeezed her hand.  “Isn’t it strange to think that while I grew up staring down here dreaming about the ground, you were probably staring up at us at the same time?”

Lexa kissed the top of Clarke’s head reverently before resting her cheek there.  After a moment of silence Clarke spoke again.  “Tell me about Luna.”

She felt Lexa sigh.  “Do you remember you asked me about the ninth Nightblood in my conclave?”

Clarke lifted her head and looked at her.  “Luna is a Nightblood?”

Lexa nodded.

“But I don’t understand.  I thought you had to fight until only one was left.”

Lexa nodded again.  “She fled.  After the first pairing.”  Lexa began to pull her hand away, to withdraw at the memories but Clarke squeezed, not letting her go.  Lexa met her eyes and Clarke waited.  Finally, Lexa continued.  “Once the Commander’s spirit chose me, Titus wanted to hunt her down.  Kill her.”  She glanced at Clarke.  “It was what had always been done.”

“What did you do?”

Lexa lifted her chin, as if defying Titus all over again.  “I wouldn’t let him.  I commanded him to let her go.”

“Why?” Clarke asked.

Lexa met her gaze again and leaned in, gently kissing her then giving her a small smile.  “A story for another time,” she said quietly.  Then she nodded her head towards the beach.  “They’re here.”

Clarke glanced towards the surf and was startled to see figures emerging from the water almost as if they were made from it.

Octavia noticed them too and she and Murphy quickly scrambled to their feet.  Octavia drew her sword but Lexa stopped her.

“No weapons,” she said calmly.

The sea creatures stepped into the fire light, showing their human faces, spears pointing at them threateningly.

“Why did you signal?” the large man in the middle asked in Trigedasleng.

“Lincoln sent us,” Octavia offered.  

The men glanced at each other.

“He said you’d help,” Octavia continued.  “We’re here to see Luna.”

After a moment, the man motioned his spear at them.  “Leave your weapons,” he demanded.  They complied slowly, tossing their knives, guns and swords into a pile in the sand.

Satisfied, the man unrolled a pouch and gave them each a small glass vile.  Clarke held the liquid up against the fire light, trying to determine what it was but before she could utter a question, Octavia tossed it back, dropping the empty vile into the sand.

“What the hell,” Murphy muttered and followed suit.

Clarke glanced at Lexa, who gave her a subtle reassuring nod and drank her own.  Clarke copied her, grimacing at the bitter taste.

The effects were almost immediate.  She began to feel dizzy and as she turned to reach for Lexa, the darkness consumed her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello readers - thanks for joining me on this little adventure. I am trying to get new chapters up quickly, so if a few grammatical or syntax errors slip by, my apologies.
> 
> Also, I've made a couple Clexa videos for fun. If you're interested, here are the links while you wait for the next chapter:
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CT8lNeO0b1I  
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFUFtZqpWhc&spfreload=10


	7. Sea

Clarke flinched as a searing light hit her face.  Even with her eyes still closed it burned and she squeezed them tighter.  At the sound of voices, she struggled to open them again, her memory of just what was going on still hazy.  She blinked several times and dark shapes began to take form behind the blinding light.

She felt hands on her arms, helping to pull her to her feet and she glanced up, seeing Lexa’s familiar profile, her expression guarded and her eyes locked on the Grounders standing in the light.

At least, at first glance they looked like Grounders.  But as her eyes adjusted, Clarke began to note the subtle but marked differences in appearance from all other clans she’d encountered.

Murphy staggered to his feet and Octavia, already standing, curled her hands into fists at her sides, appearing naked without a sword in hand.

Then the figures by the entry parted and a woman with wild hair and dark, piercing eyes walked in, coming to a stop in front of them.  This, Clarke realized, was Luna.  She ran her gaze over them slowly, carefully, before finally landing and settling on Lexa.

The newcomer raised her chin and tilted her head slightly.  “Lexa,” she said in a smooth voice.  “The tales of your death seem to be greatly exaggerated.”

“Disappointed?” Lexa said, her voice was calm but held an edge.

While Lexa stood taught, her body ready to spring into action, Luna appeared completely relaxed.  She even smiled broadly at Lexa’s words.

“If I was, I’d have only myself to blame.”  Luna paced the small space slowly, taking in a closer look at Lexa’s Skikru companions.  She paused in front of Octavia and faced her squarely.

Octavia lifted her chin defiantly at the scrutiny.

“Now tell me, why would Lincoln send you?  He knows I have no interest in these Grounder wars.  Where is he?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” Octavia ground out.  “But he told me if I ever needed help, a safe place, to come to you.”

Luna’s dark eyes searched Octavia and she eventually turned her gaze back to Lexa.  “Is that what you’re here for?”  She walked back in front of Lexa, staring hard at her. “Are you here to hide, Heda?”

Clarke felt Lexa tense and stepped in front of her, forcing Luna to face her instead.  “We need your help,” she said.  “We are all under attack by something much more dangerous than a clan war.  If you don’t help, we’ll all be lost.”

Luna studied Clarke all during her impassioned plea and Clarke met her gaze with a fiercely determined one of her own.  Then Luna’s lips spread into a smile again, her eyes flicking back to Lexa before settling on Clarke once more.

“There is no war here Sky Girl.  Or do you prefer Wanheda?”

Clarke bristled at the name, hating the legacy it brought with it.  “My name is Clarke,” she answered sharply.

Luna nodded.  “Very well Clarke.  I am afraid you have wasted your time.  There is no war here and we want no part of yours.”  She began to walk away, “For now you are my guests, but the boat return to shore in the morning.”  She turned back once more, “And you will all be on it,” and disappeared.

The rest of the Flokru followed, leaving the doors open and unguarded.

Clarke walked quickly to the opening, followed by Octavia and Murphy.  The view that met them had them spinning in confusion and awe.  They stood on a huge, metallic city, perched above the ocean with nothing but endless water surrounding them on every side as far as the eye could see.

“Great.  All this way to the middle of nowhere for nothing,” Murphy mumbled.

Clarke turned back to the large metal box that had held them.  Lexa stood inside where they’d left her, her expression dark and conflicted.  Clarke waited for Lexa to meet her eyes.  Then while looking at Lexa, she responded to Murphy.  “I’m not giving up yet.”

Lexa recognized the tone in Clarke’s voice, but she was certain that this time, even Clarke willing something to become true wouldn’t save them.

 

———

 

“I envy them,” Lexa said softly so that only Clarke could hear her.

They were seated against the wall watching the celebration and comradary of Luna’s people.  They laughed and smiled and joked with one another.  They told stories and shared affection.

Clarke was leaning against the wall studying them.  It reminded her of more carefree days on the Ark.  The Ark before she knew the ugly truths.

“Do you really think she’s managed to find peace?” Clarke asked quietly.

When Lexa didn’t answer, Clarke turned to seek out her eyes.  She found Lexa’s face shadowed, her jaw tight.  She reached op and placed a gentle hand on Lexa’s thigh, drawing her attention.  

Clarke gave her a sincere look.  “We’ve been so close to peace.  If we keep fighting, I know we’ll find it,” she said.

Lexa met her gaze, her eyes revealing a sadness that surprised Clarke.  “At what cost?” she answered.

Then her gaze drifted back to Luna, lounging across the crowded room, smiling and laughing with her lover, a Flokru grounder named Derek.  Clarke followed her eyes.

“After the first pairing at the conclave, when I saw her, I knew something had happened.  She looked…haunted.”  Lexa began.  “She kept staring at me with this look of… of pain.”

“Was her first pairing against someone she knew,” Clarke asked.

Lexa finally pulled her gaze away from the room and it landed heavily on Clarke.  “Her brother,” she said.

Clarke blinked, not sure she heard the information correctly.  Then she let her eyes drift back to the smiling woman across the room. 

“Luna had always been the best of us,” Lexa continued.  “She was faster, more cunning. That is really why Titus wanted her hunted.  He was afraid if she returned, she would challenge me.”

“So why spare her?”

Lexa met Clarke’s gaze again.  “Because she spared me.  We were to be paired next.  And she would have won.”

Clarke took in the information, understanding a bit more about the tension between the two Nightbloods.

______

 

Clarke was pacing the small room she and Lexa had been given for the night.  After receiving showers and clean linens, Lexa had left to try again to speak with Luna, but had yet to return and Clarke was getting anxious.

She whirled at the sound of the door opening, instantly relieved when she saw Lexa duck inside and close the steel door behind her.

“What did she say?  Will she help?” Clarke demanded eagerly.

Lexa removed her coat and shook her head slowly.  “She won’t be swayed.”

Clarke began a determined march towards the door, “I have to talk to her…”

But Lexa caught her around the waist, gently but firmly halting her progress.  “Clarke,” she said softly.  “We’ll have to find another way.”

Clarke shook her head in frustration and dropped heavily onto the small bed.  “Ok, there has to be another solution,” her browed furrowed in concentration and she began chewing her nails absently.

Lexa watched her a moment, a smile touching her lips.  It had been quite a while since she’d been able just to stop and look at Clarke and doing so now made the feelings she fought to repress during the day swell up and fill her chest.

She walked over slowly and kelt in front of Clarke.  She picked one of her booted feet up off the floor, placed it on her thigh and began to unlace and pull off her boots.  After the first was done, she started on the second.  It took Clarke a moment to register what was happening.  She looked quizzically down at Lexa who only gave her a sly smile.

Clarke couldn’t help the grin the tugged at her lips.  “What are you doing Commander?” she asked.

After removing the second boot, she sat cross legged on the floor and took one of Clarke’s feet in her hands and began expertly rubbing Clarke’s feet.

“Oh God,” Clarke groaned, falling helplessly back on the bed.  Lexa only smiled to herself and moved to the other foot, eliciting another moan from the bed above her.

Once both feet were taken care of, she joined Clarke on the bed, propping her head on her hand so she could look down at Clarke’s now completely relaxed expression.

Clarke turned her head to meet Lexa’s gaze, “That was a dirty trick to get me to stop talking.”

Lexa smiled.  “You didn’t seem to mind too much.”

Clarke reached up, running a gentle finger along Lexa’s jaw line. 

At the sight of wrinkles of concentration beginning to form again on Clarke’s forehead Lexa grabbed her hand and squeezed gently.  “No more tonight Clarke.  Can we just…”

Her voice trailer off but Clarke read the meaning in her eyes.  “Just be together?”

Lexa met her eyes and nodded.

Clarke smiled, “Say no more.”  She reached up and pulled Lexa’s lips to hers and the night slipped away.

 

 

 


	8. Change of Plans

Clarke sputtered, spitting salty, wet sand from her mouth.  She pushed herself up, and realized they were once again back on the beach.  Lexa was laying beside her, her eyes only beginning to flutter open.  

Luna, Derek and a few of the other Flokru that had brought them back to shore appeared to be readying their boats for departure.  A heavy, dense fog hug over the water and shrouded the forest around them.

A shout is what drew her attention first.  Her gaze snapped back to the Flokru and she watch as their hazy figures seemed to be struggling.  She shook her head to clear her vision.

“Derek don’t!” she heard Luna’s distressed voice saying.

Lexa must have heard it to, because she pushed herself up quickly and began to stumble towards the sound.  Clarke scrambled after her.  As they approached, the scene that met them seemed so out of place they both paused, not understanding.  Luna was being held by two of her own people while Derek held a knife to her throat and held out his other hand, a small chip in his fingers.

“Just take it Luna and no one will be harmed,” Derek was pleading.

“Derek what are you doing?” Luna struggled to understand.

Derek paused, tilting his head to the side and glancing to his right at nothing before pulling the knife from Luna’s neck and putting it to his own.

“Just take the Key Luna and this will all be over.”

“Oh no,” Clarke whispered, realization dawning.

Tears streamed down Luna’s face.  Lexa took a step towards them when SHOONK, an arrow from the fog hit her in her left side.  She dropped with a yell of pain and Clarke followed her, in shock.

Derek looked over and shouted towards the fog, “We need her alive!”

Luna took advantage of his momentary distraction to strike.  In the blink of an eye, she broke a wrist of each of the men holding her, reached for Derek’s knife, taking out the other two men.

Derek rushed towards the injured Lexa. Clarke shouted as he pulled another knife and lunged for her.  But he stopped suddenly, his face registering surprise.  Then he turned slowly back towards Luna who pulled the knife she stuck in his back.

He crumpled to the ground, dead and Luna dropped with him, sobbing.

Another figure ran at them from the fog but was quickly knocked off his feet by a sword hurled by Octavia.  Almost immediately another appeared, this one carrying a bow with an arrow knocked and ready to fire at Clarke when a knife came hurtling from the fog and dropped him instantly at their feet.

A sudden stillness enveloped them, only broken by Luna’s cries.

“How the hell did she get to them?” Octavia asked, retrieving her sword and looking cautiously into the fog for the source of that last knife.

“Shit,” Clarke mumbled as she struggled to put pressure on the wound in Lexa’s side.

“Octavia,” Lexa said, grimacing as she pushed Clarke’s hands away and snapped off the end of the arrow, “Hand me my sword.”

“Lexa you’re bleeding,” Clarke argued.

She took her sword from Octavia and nodded to the fog.  “It’s not over,” she said, just as four more shadows charged them from the woods.

Clarke scrambled backwards and Lexa began swinging her sword with one arm in full battle mode despite her injury.  Octavia took on another and Clarke and Murphy scrambled for the guns they’d left behind.

Lexa dispatched one quickly as the others engaged the remaining three, but two more rushed from the fog, their focus on Lexa.  She fought hard but her injury was definitely hindering her.  Clarke finally got the upper hand and shot her attacked once in the leg and then in the chest.  She glanced up just in time to see to her horror Lexa’s second attacker about to swing a deadly blow while she struggled against the other.

“Lexa!” she shouted but was too far away to get a good shot.  Then suddenly another knife sailed unseen from the fog, dropping Lexa’s would be assailant as she dispatched the other with a feral yell.  She glanced around, making sure there were no more enemies and then collapsed on the ground.

Clarke rushed to her, putting pressure on the wound again.  Octavia and Murphy circled them, their eyes still trained on the fog, weapons at the ready.

“You shouldn’t have done that,” Clarke chastised Lexa.  “It’s made the wound much worse.”

“You would prefer I let them kill us instead?” Lexa questioned, her voice reflecting her pain through it’s frustrated tone.

Another figure suddenly emerged from the fog, but this one had his hands raised in surrender.  Clarke glanced up, immediately recognizing him.

“Roan,” she said.

“That is all of them.”  He nodded, referring to the chipped Grounders who had attacked.

“What are you doing here?” Lexa asked through gritted teeth as Clarke pushed hard into her wound to stop the bleeding.

“You’re welcome,” he shot back.  “If you haven’t noticed the whole world’s gone crazy with these… things.”  He motioned with disgust to the dead Grounders.  “So naturally I figured you two had something to do with it.”

Clarke ignored him, instead taking a moment to look Lexa in the eye.  “Can you sit up?” she asked gently.

Lexa nodded and did so with help.  Clarke and Octavia helped her move so she could prop herself up against a tree.

Lexa grabbed Octavia’s arm, “Check on Luna,” she said softly.  Octavia nodded and moved away.

“Well they definitely know you’re alive now,” Murphy said.

“We have to get back to Arcadia,” Clarke said.  “Find the horses,” she instructed Murphy.  Then she turned back to Lexa and put on her best doctor face.  “You’re going to be fine.”

“I know that voice,” Lexa said with a weak smile.  “That’s the voice you use when you are trying to make the impossible true.”

“We’ll get you back to Arcadia.  I have all of the medical supplies there I need to…”

“No, Lexa said.

Clarke frowned.  “Lexa if they know you’re alive then we have to get you back, not only to take care of that wound but Raven needs the second AI if we’re going to take down ALLIE.”

Lexa nodded.  “I know.”  She turned her head, and Clarke followed her gaze to Octavia comforting the grieving Luna.  “But I can’t go with you.” She turned back and met Clarke’s eyes.  “We can’t travel together, especially now that I’m weakened.”

Clarke frowned, “I don’t understand.”

“Clarke,” Lexa softened her voice, “they will find us again eventually.  And if they use you against me…” she shook her head.

Clarke watched her struggle, tears stinging the back of her eyes, suddenly understanding.

“I can’t watch you die,” Lexa said.  “I’ll give them what they want first.  And that is far too dangerous.”

A tear trailed down Clarke’s cheek and she pushed it away in frustration.  “There has to be another way.”

Lexa nodded.  “They are looking for me so I will go to them.  That should give you time to get back to Arcadia.”

“But the flame…”

Lexa interrupted, “I will go to Polis.  The flame will go with you to Arcadia.”

“Wait, you want us to remove the flame?” Murphy asked,having returned with the horses.  “Is that even possible without killing you?”

Lexa shook her head.  “It’s the only way.”

“But what good will the chip be without a Nightblood?”

“We have one,” Octavia said as she and Luna joined them.

Everyone looked to Luna, her face just hours ago so vibrant and care-free now solemn and darkly determined.

“I won’t fight your war,” she said.  Her eyes then settled on Clarke.  “But I will give you my blood so that _you_ can.”

“Mt Weather,” Octavia added and everyone watched as Clarke turned over all of the options and possibilities in her mind.

Finally Clarke shook her head, “No, it’s took risky.  You could die without treatment.”

Lexa put her hand on Clarke’s to still her movements and waited for her to meet her gaze.  “Clarke, you know this is what has to be done.”  She squeezed her hand gently. “You were right.  Life is about more than just surviving.”

Another tear made it’s rebellious escape down Clarke’s face as she looked at Lexa.  Hearing her own words used against her, her resolve crumbled.  Finally she nodded, “Ok.”

 


	9. The Flame

Clarke unwrapped the red cloth around the Flamekeeper book and looked through the few tools held within.  Scalpel, forceps, needle, and fine cordage.  

She glanced at Lexa who was laying on her good side, her face pale and clammy from pain.  Nonetheless, she met Clarke’s uncertain gaze with a confident one of her own.

“You know I hate this plan,” Clarke said softly.

“I know,” Lexa said, giving her a weak smile.

“Will you… will you still be you?”

Lexa smiled gently again. “The Flame only enhances who you already are, it doesn’t change you.”  Her smile faded, “Although I don’t think it has ever been removed while a Commander still lived.”

“Reassuring,” Clarke said avoiding her eyes.

“Clarke,” Lexa said.

Clarke finally took a deep breathe and met the familiar green eyes looking at her. 

“I love you,” she said with quiet certainty.  “That will never change.”

A few tears escaped Clarke’s eyes at the admission.  “You have terrible timing, you know that?”

Murphy came near, breaking the moment.  “We should get this over with.”

Lexa and Clarke’s gazes still locked, Lexa gave her a discrete nod.  It was time.

Clarke moved around behind Lexa and gently swept her hair way from her neck, revealing the old scar.  Murphy handed her the scalpel.  She brought it to almost touching Lexa’s neck and stopped, hovering over it.  Then with a quick breathe she made the incision.

Dark, black blood immediately seeped from the wound.  Murphy handed her the forceps and waited.

After a moment, Clarke spoke the Latin words as described in the Flamekeeper’s book.  Suddenly a metallic object emerged, it’s tentacles pushing it out of the incision.  Clarke grabbed it gently with the forceps and pulled it slowly away from Lexa’s neck.  Once separated, the tentacles retracted and they stared at the Flame, which looked unsettlingly like one of Jaha’s chips. 

She transferred the chip into the metal tin and Murphy slide the lid closed.

“Lexa?” Clarke asked.

“Still here,” came the answer.

Clarke took another deep breathe and began closing the wound.

 

——-

 

“Let’s go over this one more time,” Clarke said, pacing in the middle of the group sitting around her. “Roan will take Lexa to Polis under the guise of being his prisoner as a distraction while we head to Arkadia with the second AI.”

“You must hurry to get there before ALLIE finds out I no longer have the Flame,” Lexa said.

“What are you going to do once you’re there?” Murphy directed his question to Roan, then fixed his gaze on Lexa.  “They’re going to make you take the chip.”

“They can try,” Lexa shot back, her eyes burning.

Clarke watched her, her mouth going dry at the images of just what they might do to Lexa assaulting her suddenly.  She noted the sweat beading on Lexa’s brow and the blood loss showing in her hollow cheeks.  She resisted the almost overwhelming urge to scrap the whole plan and steal Lexa away herself.  In Lexa’s weakened state she might just get away with it.  Damn the consequences.  Damn everyone who stood in their way!

She swallowed roughly, forcing the thoughts away.  “Once in Arkadia, we’ll use the Flame and whatever knowledge Raven and Monty have found to get into ALLIE’s code and disable it.”

“When you say ‘Use the Flame’, how exactly is that going to work?” Octavia asked.

“We’ll use the equipment my Mom brought back from Mt Weather to run Luna’s blood through my body so that I can accept the Flame,” Clarke explained.

“And that will work?  I mean, it could kill you Clarke… the blood or the Flame.” Octavia said, second guessing.

Lexa met Clarke’s eyes across the room.  They knew with the risks they were both about to take, the likelihood of them both managing to survive was slim.

Clarke finally tore her eyes away and busied herself with wrapping up the Flamekeeper’s book and tools once more.  “It’s the best we’ve got,” she said grimly.

“Then lets get going,” Roan said gruffly as he pushed to his feet.

The rest rose as well, except for Lexa who looked weaker by the moment.  Clarke changed her bandages once more, trying not to think about the fact that they were soaked through with dark blood again and the implications.  Then helped Lexa to her feet and over to her horse.  They faced each other, once again being forced to say goodbye and not knowing if or when they would see each other again.

“We have to stop saying goodbye like this,” Lexa said, attempting a smile.  She reached up and moved a stray locke of blonde hair behind Clarke’s ear.

Clarke reached up and covered her hand with her own and then with her other hand pulled Lexa’s face to hers, kissing her gently, trying to temper the desperate need she felt to hang on to Lexa with every cell in her body.  Finally she pulled away and they rested their foreheads together.  “Stay alive,” she whispered.  “If we beat ALLIE…”

“When.” Clarke met Lexa’s eyes, feeling the strength in them despite her physical weakness. “ _When_ you beat her,” she said again quietly.

Clarke nodded. “When we beat her, try to find my mom.  If she… if she makes it, she’ll help you with this wound until I can get back to you.”

Lexa nodded, wishing she could do more to chase away the panic lurking behind Clarke’s blue eyes. “Until we meet again,” she whispered.

______

 

Clarke watched as Roan and Lexa departed on horseback into the thick trees and were devoured by the fog.  Then she turned, mounting her own horse and followed as Octavia led her, Murphy and Luna in the opposite direction.

______

 


	10. Convergence

Four horses covered in froth from excursion skidded to a stop in the ankle deep muddy courtyard of Arkadia.  Each rider dismounted quickly, left the horses and hurried towards the entry.  As they approached, the door swung open and they were met by the barrel of a semi-automatic weapon.

One of the riders, never slowing, pushed off her hood, revealing Clarke, her determined face splattered with mud and streaked with sweat.

Bellamy held the gun in place, unwavering until Clarke and the group behind her stopped.  He eyed them carefully, recognizing his sister, Murphy and a Grounder stranger with them.  His eyes shifted behind the gun sight back to Clarke.

"Where's the Commander?” he asked.

Clarke shook her head, her eyes flashing.  "I'll explain later." She held up the small tin adorned with a skull.  "But we have what we need and we don't have much time."

Bellamy didn't move.  "How do I know you're still you?"

Clarke stepped forward until the barrel of his weapon pressed into her chest.  Her eyes were steady and dangerous as she stared him down.  "Bellamy, we don't have time for this.  The plan has changed and I have to get this chip to Raven now."

Octavia was suddenly beside them.  She put a hand on the muzzle of his gun and pushed it down.  “Don’t be an idiot.  Come on."

She marched past him, Murphy on her heels.  Bellamy looked back to Clarke.

“What happened to the help you were going to bring back with you?” he asked.

Luna stepped next to Clarke and Bellamy looked her over suspiciously.  Luna tilted her head, "You are the brother I suppose.”  A brief smile flickered on her lips before dying away again.  

"This is Luna," Clarke said.  "She's going to help us."

Bellamy frowned, obviously disappointed for once at not finding a force of Grounder soldiers in front of him.  Finally he nodded and they headed inside.

\------

Lexa jerked awake at the sharp pain in her side and realized she was sliding out of her saddle.  She fought to pull herself upright again, the effort taking strength reserves that were running dangerously low.

She always suspected that the Flame helped her fight through pain.  The greatest benefit to that had been being able to keep a clear head throughout so as to escape, defeat or overcome whatever situation she found herself in.  Now however, she was finding it hard to focus... on staying in the saddle, on staying awake, on staying alive.  Her fingers trailed over her bandage, feeling the sticky warm blood that had soaked it through.  Still though, her dulled mind flashed back to Clarke's hands as they had wrapped that very bandage around her.

"Stay alive," she heard Clarke's voice as if she were right beside her, whispering in her ear.  

The thought of Clarke served to strengthen her resolve.  She forced herself to sit up in her saddle and look ahead.  Roan was riding no far beyond her. He glanced back, perhaps checking to see if she was still on her horse.

"Not long now," she heard his deep gravely voice say.

"Stay alive," she heard the whisper again.  She gritted her teeth and spurred her horse to move faster.

\------

Clarke found Raven hunched over a keyboard, her eyes moving rapidly over the wall of monitors in front of her.  Monty met her at the entry, stopping short at the sight of Luna beside her.

"Where's the Commander?” he said, panic edging into his voice.  "We need the chip."

Clarke spoke without looking at him as she began to dig through the medical equipment Octavia and Murphy were dragging in.  "We have the chip," she said distractedly.

"I don't underst..." Monty started, but Clarke interrupted.

Raven spun in her chair, deep, dark circles under her eyes but her focus sharpe.  "We can't just use the chip on it's own.  It runs off biometrics.  It has to be _in_ a nightblood."

"Meet Luna," Octavia said, motioning to the Grounder who was glancing around at the strange equipment.  "She's a nightblood."

"So we're putting the chip in her?" Monty asked.

"No," Luna said, her dark eyes landing on him.  He swallowed involuntarily.

Clarke looked over the medical setup of two stretchers, the blood transfusion and filter system, scalpels, tubing and syringes.  Nodding quickly to herself she finally looked up and glanced around at everyone.  They were all watching her, waiting for answers.  Waiting for their leader to speak.

"Look, we don't have time to explain how we ended up here, but this is what we have to do.  We're going to run Luna's blood through my body.  Murphy will put the Flame into me.  And then we take down this bitch once and for all."  Clarke's words were met with a mix of confusion, respect and horror.  But she didn't have time for feelings.  Now was the time for action.  They were on a ticking clock.

"Where's Jasper?" Octavia asked.

Monty shook his head, “Looking for booze, what else.  Let's just get on with this crazy plan," he answered, walking over to help hook Clarke and Luna up to the machine.

Clarke glanced over from her stretcher to Luna lying next to her.  “You might loose consciousness,” she warned.

Luna nodded her understanding and they both watched as Luna's dark nightblood flowed through the tubing and into Clarke's arm.  Clarke and Luna locked eyes.  

"Thank you," Clarke said quietly to her.

"Don't thank me yet, Sky girl," Luna said.  Then she gave her a grim smile, her eyes flashing dangerously, "Just do what you must."

Clarke nodded and looked to Murphy.  He held a scalpel is his hands and they were shaking.  He looked at Clarke, his face ashen.  "Murphy, you can do this," she said, trying to impart her own iron will into him.

He nodded, forcing a deep breathe and steadying his hands.

The rest looked on nervously as Murphy made the incision in the back of Clarke's neck.  

Bellamy took Clarke’s hand and squeezed it.  She looked up at him, her face set in grim determination.

Murphy delicately removed the Flame from it's metal case.  Clarke tilted her head back down, revealing the incision site.  Murphy licked his dry lips nervously and  whispered the Latin phrase detailed in the Flamekeeper’s book. They all stood back, watching in fear boarding on panic as it imbedded itself into Clarke.

\------

Roan pushed Lexa to the ground.  With her hands tied behind her, she fell unceremoniously face first into the putrid mix of blood and mud.

He eyed the bodies hanging limp from crosses surrounding the muddy courtyard in front of the Polis tower.  An involuntary shiver ran through him at the tortured souls regardless of clan.

Tearing his eyes from the suffering, he glanced around the empty streets.  He knew better than to imagine the place as deserted as it seemed.  He sensed eyes lurking in the darkened doorways.

He lifted his arms and spun slowly.  “I have a gift for the Commander!  I bring Lexa!” he shouted, his voice echoing off the ruins.

Almost immediately figures emerged and surrounded them.

Lexa managed to roll to her side and tried to focus through the haze of pain lancing through her side and the mud coating her face.  She watched the legs of those surrounding them part to make a path and a single pair of boots stride towards them, stopping just shy of the putrid puddle she lay in.

She glanced up, her eyes resting on the smug face of Ontari.

———

The City of Light had been nothing like Clarke had imagined.  At first appearing empty, then suddenly teaming with Grounders and Skikru alike in attire completely foreign to them.  She wandered, invisible, until suddenly she saw a sign… the mark of the Commander.  The mark on Lexa’s neck.  And she hurried to follow.

———

Roan grabbed Lexa roughly by the hair and pulled her up until she was kneeling, her face turned for Ontari to inspect.

“Give her the chip,” Ontari commanded.

Jaha appeared in Lexa’s field of view and held out a chip. 

“Never!” Lexa growled in Trigedasleng.

Ontari unsheathed her sword slowly, her eyes never leaving Lexa’s. 

“Pain can be a great motivator,” Jaha said.  His expression remained serene even as Ontari pushed the tip of her sword into Lexa’s already bleeding wound.

Lexa held Ontario’s gaze even as her face contorted uncontrollably in pain.  Roan released her and she dropped back into the mud.

Somewhere in the vague haze of pain she recognized two of the figures hanging limply on the cross nearby.  Lincoln and Indra. Was there no one left?

Jaha squatted in the muck next to her, blocking her view by holding the chip close to her face.  “This will make it all go away.”

Lexa fought to catch her breathe through the pain.  She met his serene gaze.  “Never,” she rasped, this time in English.

“It doesn’t matter,” Ontari said behind him.  “We don’t need her. We’ll just take the second AI ourselves.”

Before Lexa could react she was pushed from behind, face first into the mud.  She tried to fight, to turn her head so as not to drowned breathing in the muddy water but the knee in her back was unrelenting.  She gasped one last breathe before being pushed under the muck.  She felt hands pulling at her hair.  She felt air against the fresh wound on the back of her neck.

As her body screamed for air, she tried to quiet her mind.  Clarke.  She thought of Clarke. The softness of her hair.  Her rare smile in their few stolen moments.  The feeling on Clarke’s hands on her.  Her only regret was that she wouldn’t be able to keep her promise to stay alive.  She hoped Clarke would forgive her that.  

Unable to fight any longer, she felt her body go limp and her lungs fill with the putrid water.

———

“Jasper stop!” Bellamy yelled as he wrapped his arm around his neck in a choke hold and fought to pull him off of Luna.

Normally Bellamy would have been plenty of muscle to stop the lanky Jasper, but this Jasper seemed to feel no pain.  He ignored the pleas of his friends around him.  He had managed to yank the catheter from Luna’s arm as she lay unconscious and was crushing her windpipe with his bare hands.

Suddenly the sharp CRACK of a gunshot rang out.  

Bellamy stumbled backwards, his arm still wrapped around Jasper’s neck.  He continued to squeeze until Jasper’s body went limp.

He glanced over to see Monty standing with a gun in his hands, his face stricken.  They laid Jasper on to the floor and checked his pulse.  “He’s still alive,” Bellamy said over his shoulder.

Monty nodded, numbly lowering the weapon.

Bellamy began putting new restraints on the now unconscious Jasper and tightening a quick bandage over the gunshot wound in his leg.

“Guys!” Murphy shouted.

They all glanced over to see him hovering helplessly over Clarke as she began convulsing.

Monty rushed to Luna’s bedside finding the separated catheter.

“Without the nightblood Clarke’s body is rejecting the AI,” Raven warned.

Monty started to reattach it but his hands were shaking too violently as he went into shock at what he’d just done.  “Murphy help me!” he said.

———

A sharpe twinge in her gut told Clarke that something was wrong back in the real world.  Either her body was rejecting Luna’s blood or something else had gone wrong.  She limped to a nearby set of stairs and collapsed, grabbing her side.

Suddenly the inhabitants in the City of Light who had previously ignored her began to stop and look right at her.

She forced herself up and stumbled a few steps before she felt herself pushed hard from behind, crashing into the concrete steps.  ALLIE had found her.

\--


	11. Switch

Clarke gasped for breathe as an attacker landed another solid kick to her side.  Between the swarm assaulting her and the burning pain surging through her as a result of whatever was happening in the real world, she was unable to fight them off.  Instead she curled her body into a tight ball, trying to hold out for as long as she could.

A feral battle cry pierced the air and she suddenly found the attacks had ceased.  She lifted her head slowly from her fetal position and blinked hard, not believing what she was seeing.

With one last thrust, the warrior that had come to her rescue turned back to face her.

“Lexa?!” Clarke said, relief and confusion lacing her voice.

Lexa quirked a smile before sheathing her swords and rushing to Clarke’s side.  She grabbed Clarke’s shoulders and helped her up into a seated position.

“I don’t understand.  How are you here?” Clarke said.  Then suddenly all color drained from her face, her grip on Lexa’s arms tightening.  “Oh god, are you…?  No.  No, please don’t be dead.”  She pleaded, only stopping when the burning sensation from within her flared up again and she cried out, wrapping her arms around herself in an inane attempt at protection.

“Clarke!” Lexa said, grabbing her and forcing her to look into her eyes.  “I’m here Clarke.  ALLIE knows you’re here.  We have to go.”

Shouts came from nearby.  ALLIE’s acolytes were returning.

“Come on,” Lexa forced Clarke to her feet and they stumbled around the corner, but Clarke quickly collapsed again.

“I can’t,” she cried, the burning sensation overwhelming her.

Lexa wrapped her arms around her, cradling her head against her chest.  “Clarke.  Clarke!”

———

After a few failed attempts, Murphy was able to reattach the catheter to Luna and they all watched, frozen as the black blood filled the tube and raced back into Clarke’s convulsing body.

They collectively held their breathe as slowly the convulsions slowed and then stopped, and Clarke’s breathing returned to normal.

“Jesus!” Murphy said for all of them, running a shaking hand across his face and into his hair.

“Ok, I can see her,” Raven said, her hands flying over the keyboard as ALLIE’s code raced across the screens in front of her.  “She’s good.”

———

Clarke opened her eyes, the burning that a moment before had overwhelmed her suddenly subsiding.  She felt a hand against her cheek and looked up to see Lexa, her bright green eyes a stark contract to the dark war paint around them, watching her carefully.

“I’m ok,” she said, starting to sit up.  She looked back at Lexa and shook her head in confusion.  “Lexa, how are you here?”

“You needed me,” Lexa answered simply.

Clarke held Lexa’s face in her hands, running her thumbs gently under the war paint along her cheeks.  Was this really Lexa? Or was this a construct her mind and the AI combined to provide her with help she would trust.  She didn’t know.  She could only cling to the fact that Lexa was there, in front of her.  She drew Lexa’s lips to hers and kissed her gently.  “I don’t understand it.  But you’re right, I do need you.”

Lexa smiled.  

Then they both turned at the sound of shouting nearby.

Lexa turned back to her.  “They’re coming.  We have to go.  Can you walk?”

Clarke nodded and they ran.

———

Clarke pushed through the heavy steel airlock door Raven had marked for her and rushed inside, forcing herself not to stop to look back.  To look for Lexa.  

She’d seen her racing with a full battle cry towards the horde trying to stop them.  She’d done it to save them.  Save her.  She didn’t know if Lexa was alive or not in the real world and she pushed away the thought that she may have just seen her for the very last time.  Real or not, she couldn’t risk looking back and squandering Lexa’s sacrifice, no matter how much it killed her inside.  

Her thoughts quickly shifted gears as she stumbled into a place that seemed both eerily familiar and completely alien to her after many months on the ground.  The Ark.  Or something like it.  And facing her, ALLIE and Rebecca, prom heda herself.

———

The constant, fast clicking of Raven’s fingers over the keyboard suddenly stopped.  The absence of the sound that had been a constant drew everyone’s attention from Clarke to Raven.  She lifted her hands and held them up in the air, staring wide eyed at the monitors.  The panels that seconds before had been filled with streaming code were suddenly black.

“What happened?” Monty said, rushing to her side.

“I… I don’t know,” Raven said.

“Guys…” Octavia’s voice called their attention back.  She nodded towards Clarke who was stirring on the stretcher for the first time since she went into convulsions.  They stared, breathe held in uncertainty as her eyes fluttered open.  She blinked hard, looking around them.

“Did it work?” her voice rasped.

They all glanced at each other unsure.

A moan from the floor drew their attention.  Jasper was regaining consciousness and gripped his leg in excruciating pain.  

Monty went to him cautiously, Bellamy raising his weapon for cover.

Kneeling next to Jasper, Monty called his name.  :Jasper… is it… are you… you?”

Tears streamed down Jasper’s face, but he met his friend’s eyes.  “Thanks man,” he said quietly.  “For shooting me.”

Monty’s face broke into a smile, tears stinging his own eyes.

He glanced back at everyone watching and nodded.

Clarke pushed herself up and grabbed Murphy’s arm.  “Help me remove the Flame,” she said.

With another Latin phrase, the second AI chip extracted itself from Clarke, who winced as they separated.  Murphy placed it carefully back into the tin, closed the lid and placed it in Clarke’s hands, wrapping her fingers around it.

She met his eyes and nodded, “Thank you,” she said genuinely.

She tucked the tin away and then pulled the catheter from her arm, hoped down and removed it from Luna’s arm.  Then she gave Luna a small shot of adrenaline from the nearby tray and felt her pulse as the Nightblood’s eyes began to flutter open.  She glanced around confused at first, but when her eyes landed on Octavia, who held her hand on the other side of Clarke, she stilled, remembering.  Her deep brown eyes shifted to Clarke.

“Did it work?” she asked.

Clarke glanced back at Jasper being consoled by Monty, then at Raven who was sitting with a distance ghost of a smile on her lips.  When she met Luna’s eyes again she nodded.  “I think so.”  Clarke glanced away, “For now anyway,” she mumbled.  But there was no time to consider the warning ALLIE had given her before she pulled the switch.

When she looked back and met Luna’s eyes she said, “Thank you.”

Luna remained quiet and only nodded back. 

Clarke glanced up at Octavia and without words they were in sync.  “I’ll get the horses,” she said.

“Wait,” Bellamy held up his hands.  “Where are you going?”

Clarke was shoving meds, syringes, bandages and anything else she could into a bag.  “To Polis.”

“Right.  I’m coming with you,” he said, grabbing some extra ammo.

“Me too,” Murphy announced.

No one argued.  Clarke turned, the stuffed bag slung over her shoulder.  She stopped when her eyes met Raven’s.  Raven nodded, her smile spreading.  Clarke grabbed her shoulders and pulled her into a strong hug.  “Thank you,” she said quietly to Raven.

Raven nodded, tears in her eyes as she pulled back.

Then Clarke, Octavia, Murphy and Bellamy hustled out into the night.  

“Hold on Lexa.  Just stay alive.  I’m coming,” Clarke said to the cold night air.

———

SLAP! The sound was loud, and she could feel her head move, but it’s almost as if she were outside of her body.  The world that was revealed when she opened her eyes was like looking through a gray haze.  She felt her head being moved again and Roan’s face came into view.

His mouth was moving, but all she could hear was a dull roar in her ears.  

 

Roan frowned.  He would have been certain the Commander was dead if he hadn’t seen her try to open her eyes.  She was ghostly pale and the wound in her side, recently aggravated by Ontario’s sword, was a bloody mess.

In the chaos of the confusion when all of the acolytes, Grounders and Skikru alike, suddenly dropped to the ground as if some invisible strings had been cut, Roan had kicked the Grounder holding Lexa down in the mud, tossed her over his shoulder and run.

He’d ducked into an alcove at the base of the Polis tower and now paced, glancing from Lexa’s half dead form to the moaning and whaling outside.

He whirled towards the entrance at the sound of footsteps, his sword in hand.  The small woman the was rushing in stopped short at the point of his sword and raised her hands in surrender.

She was Skikru, that much he could see.

“Get. Out.” he growled.

The woman’s glance slid from him, to Lexa’s body behind him.  When she met his eyes again they held a steely resolve.

“I can help her,” she said.  “I’m a healer.”

She tried to take a step closer but he pushed his blade against her chest in warning.

“Get out of my way,” she said.  The strength of her voice surprised him.  He studied her, her eyes sharpe with resolve, her jaw set in determination.  She reminded him of someone.  Of Clarke.

He slowly lowered his weapon and she brushed past him, dropping to her knees next to Lexa and feeling for a pulse.

 

She felt her head being moved again and they the constant pain in her side sharpened suddenly.  She tried to lift her hands to protect herself but she was too weak.  She forced her eyes open, seeing Roan in the distance.  Then another face bent into her field of view, closer.  A familiar face.

“Abby,” she managed to rasp.

Abby’s face smiled at her a moment and then she began speaking.  But Lexa couldn’t hear her over the increasing roar in her ears and she once again succumbed to the darkness.

———


	12. A Future Imperfect

As dawn broke, four riders galloped into the shattered remains of the city of Polis.  The crowded streets and chaos forced them to a stop well before they got anywhere near the tower.

Grounders and Skikru alike choked the streets, injured, wandering, looking for familiar faces and lost family.  Clarke glanced around frantically for any anyone she might recognize.

“John!” a voice shouted from the crowd.

Murphy dropped from his horse and pushed through the crowd and they watched as he wrapped one of the Grounders in a crushing embrace.

“I’m sorry!” Emori cried.  “I’m so sorry!”

“It’s ok,” Murphy told her.  “It’s ok now.”

When she realized they weren’t getting through on horseback, Octavia dismounted in frustration and began pushing her way forward.  Bellamy followed, shouting after her, Clarke close on his heels.

As they pushed slowly closer to the tower, the crowds thinned and some semblance of order began to take shape.  Small camps lined the streets with people huddled around fires, their faces painted with haunted looks.

Octavia suddenly stopped short, a figure catching her eye.  Then she rushed forward, the others following.

“Nyko!” she shouted to the large Grounder tending to several patients lying on the ground waiting for medical attention.

He turned at the sound of his name and a look of relief seemed to wash over his normally stoic features.  He welcomed her embrace without hesitation.

“Octavia,” he said, pulling her back at arms length to see her.  “I had hoped you found some way to survive.”

“Have you seen Lincoln?” she asked urgently.

He hesitated a moment, then nodded once.  “He was alive last I saw him but…”

“But what?” Octavia demanded.

He shook his head.  “His injuries were severe.  He and Indra… they were tortured because they refused the chip.”

Clarke pushed forward and grabbed Nyko’s arm.  “What about Lexa?”

Again he shook his head, his expression grave.  “No.  Not since Ontari…” he stopped, taking a breathe, looking at both of them.

“If either of them are still alive, they will be with the most severely injured.”  He glanced at Clarke.  “Abby is with them.”

Clarke tightened her grip.  “Where?” 

———

The three of them rushed towards the tower and followed the red crosses that had been hastily painted in what they could only guess was blood on walls to show the way to medical.

Octavia and Clarke charged through the fabric curtain of the entrance and almost crashed into Jackson, who was carrying a tray of bloody bandages.

“Octavia?” a weak voice called nearby.

Her head snapped in that direction and with a desperate cry she flew into Lincoln’s arms where he lay on the floor nearby.  Sobs escaped her as they clung to each other.  All of her courage and bravado over the last weeks melted as she was finally reunited with the other half of her heart.

Clarke watched long enough to see that, though injured, Lincoln looked like he would eventually recover.  She looked at Jackson, who seemed to be avoiding her gaze.  She shoved the bag of medical supplies at him.  

“I’m sure you could use these.”

He looked in the bag and then met her eyes, forcing a smile and nodding his thanks.

“Clarke!”

Clarke rushed forward at the sound of her mother’s voice.  Abby stopped short of hugging her, looking at her daughter, tears in her eyes.  “I’m so sorry,” she said.  “I could have killed you!”

Clarke wrapped her arms around her mom tightly.  “It wasn’t you,” she said.  She pulled back and wiped the tears from Abby’s cheeks.  “It wasn’t you Mom.”

Abby nodded, forcing a smile for her.

Clarke gripped her mother’s hands.  “Mom, have you seen Lexa?”

She watched her mother’s smile fade and her heart rose in her throat causing her breathe to catch.

“Clarke…” she started.

But Clarke knew that voice.  That was the consoling voice she used when she was about to give bad news.  Horrible, irreversible news.  She shook her head, “No, Mom, no,” she said, tears suddenly spilling from her eyes.

Abby squeezed her arms and looked her in the eye.  “She’s here,” Abby said.  “But she won’t… I’ve done everything I can, honey.  I’m so sorry.”

Clarke pushed her tears away.  “Where is she?”

“Clarke…”

“Where is she?” Clarke demanded, stronger this time.

———

Bellamy watched his sister and breathed a bit of relief.  She would have been broken without Lincoln, he realized now.  He glanced down and recognized another familiar face.  

Indra.

He dropped his things and sat down next to her sleeping figure, taking her hand in his.  She stirred, her swollen eyes forcing themselves open slowly.

He gave her a repentant smile and squeezed her hand.  He could never make up for what he’d done.  He knew that.  But the simple human kindness and contact in that moment was all he had to offer.  

She gave him a slight nod before closing her eyes again to rest.

———

Clarke pushed through the cloth separating the main room and the small side chamber her mother had directed her to.  Her feet stopped just inside and she reached out for the wall as she suddenly felt faint at the sight that greeted her.

Lexa was laying motionless, her face deathly pale and still.  Clarke couldn’t help the sob that escaped her at the sight.  She dropped to her knees next to her, wrapping Lexa’s limp hand in hers, trying to warm it.  She reached a shaking hand up, brushing Lexa’s hair from her forehead.  A forehead so cold to the touch.

All of the struggle.  All of the fight.  The close calls.  The missed opportunities.  It all hit Clarke at once.  It wasn’t fair, she thought.  They’d never had their chance at peace.  A chance at a future and what it might hold for them together.  And now it was too late.

She buried her head against Lexa’s chest and let the sorrow of the past few months pour out of her.  “I love you,” she whispered into the cold skin beneath her.    “I love you Lexa.”

After a long silence with only her quiet cries filling the empty space, she lifted her head at a whispered sound.

She lifted her head, almost certain she had imagined it.  She watched Lexa’s still face for any movement, holding her breathe.  Then she saw her lips move slightly.

“Clarke,” came the whisper again.

Clarke squeezed her hand while she ran the other over Lexa’s forehead and down her cheek, caressing her face.  “Lexa? Lexa, I’m here.  It’s me.”

Lexa’s eyes opened slowly with obvious effort.  At first reflecting only pain, she blinked weakly and then found Clarke’s eyes.  Her lips quirked in what would have been a smile if she’d had the strength.

“You did it,” she said quietly.

Clarke brushed her thumb lovingly across her cheekbone.  “ _We_ did it,” she said.  “You were with me in the Flame.”

“Told you… I’d always be with you,” she managed.

Tears spilled down Clarke’s cheeks.  

“Now it’s… up to you… to lead… our people,” Lexa continued, the effort getting harder and harder for her.

Clarke shook her head.  “No.  Not without you.  We’re meant to do this together.”

Lexa’s eye started to loose their focus and Clarke moved to try to keep her there with her, to keep their connection.  

“Ai gonplei ste odon, Clarke,” Lexa whispered.

“No.  No! I refuse to accept that,” Clarke said.   

If Lexa could have smiled, she would have, knowing so well that tone in Clarke’s voice.  But she knew that this time, Clarke wouldn’t get her way.  She could feel the last of her strength draining away.

“Lexa, no,” Clarke cried as Lexa’s breathe began to rattle in her chest.  

“My spirit… will live… in the Flame,” Lexa managed.  She met Clarke’s eyes once more, “I love you… Clarke,” she managed as her eyes slipped closed and her breathing ceased.

“No.  No!” Clarke cried.  A sudden thought occurred to her and she released Lexa’s hand and fumbled with her jacket.  She pulled out the skull adorned tin and looked at it a moment before shoving open the lid.  She grabbed the delicate chip and placed it under Lexa’s neck.  “Altiora quaerere,” she said, and she felt the chip leave her fingers.

As soon as it did she repositioned herself and began pumping Lexa’s chest to preform CPR.  Following her compressions she blew air into Lexa’s mouth, trying to block out how cold Lexa’s lips were.  “Come on Lexa,” she said, pushing hard.  “Don’t give up on me.”  Another breathe.  More compressions.  “You’re fight isn’t over yet.”

Breathe.  Compressions.  Tears began streaming down Clarke’s cheeks again.  “Please,” she whispered.

Suddenly Lexa’s eyes shot open and she sucked in a huge breathe.  Clarke stumbled back startled.  But she was back at her side in the time it took Lexa to take her next breathe.  

“Lexa!” she cried, holding her face in her hands.

Lexa’s wild eyes settled on Clarke and as her breathing evened out she seemed to recognize where she was.  “Clarke,” she croaked.

“Yes.  It’s me.  I’m here.”

“The Flame?” Lexa asked.

Clarke nodded, smiling down at her.  “I told you, I need your spirit to stay right where it is, ok?  So stop trying to die on me.”

Lexa, taking another breathe as if she hardly believed she could, managed a smile.  

———

 

Epilogue - Three weeks later

 

Shafts of sunlight illuminated the throne room at the pinnacle of the Polis tower.  Clarke watched as delegates of the thirteen clans filed in and took their places.  Her eyes met Kane’s across the room, her mother beside him along with Bellamy and Raven.  Kane gave her a small smile and nod in acknowledgement before escaping her gaze.  It was a common practice these days.  It seemed everyone had a hard time coming to grips with what they had done under the thrall of ALLIE.

She glanced to her left, her eyes skating over Lexa as she tried to discern her current pain level.  The Commander was seated and looked relaxed as she watched everyone enter and take their places.  Only someone who knew her well might notice the slight tension in her jawline and stiff posture.  And Clarke knew her.  Knew all too well that she was far from fully healed, despite the accelerate healing and pain tolerance the Flame gave her.

Lexa’s gaze made it’s way to her and paused, no doubt recognizing the vaguely concealed concern in Clarke’s eyes.  She offered her a subtle quirk of her lips as a sign that she was fine.

Lexa finally broke their eye contact as the meeting was called to order.  With another slow sweep of her eyes around the room, she spoke.

“Representatives of the thirteen clans, there is no doubt that the affects of what has transpired in recent times will be a burden we carry both physically and emotionally for a long time to come.  Many of us are still healing, rebuilding our homes, and there is a need as well to rebuild our trust in each other.”

She paused as many sets of eyes dropped to the floor, recognizing the truth of her words.

“But we must learn to believe and trust in ourselves again. And in each other.  Together we are strong.  United we can defeat any enemy, even if it is our own doubts.”

She glanced at Clarke and nodded in her direction, “Thanks in large part to the heroic effort,” she turned and nodded in Raven’s direction, “and sacrifice of Skikru, we have a chance to rebuild.  To start again.  It is my hope that we will do that together, in peace.  To do so requires perhaps the hardest of challenges.  Forgiveness.  We must wipe clean the transgressions we have made against each other and join together in what may be our most difficult challenge.  That of peace.”

Clarke watched as many heads nodded in acknowledgment.

Lexa lifted her chin and continued.  “To that end, today I purpose we not only renew our commitments together as the thirteen clans, but that we add another.”

The doors swung open and Roan stepped in.  He paused as all of the eyes in the room were on him.  Then he walked forward towards the throne.  He gave a side glance at Clarke as he passed and she gave him a nod of recognition.  Roan stopped in front of Lexa and the two studied each other.  Then Roan knelt on one knee and bowed his head.  

“As King of Azgeda, I pledge my allegiance to the Commander and to the thirteen clans,” he said.

Murmurs ran through the crowd and Lexa waited for them to settle again.  “Rise, Roan and be welcomed as the fourteenth clan.”

He stood, his eyes locked on Lexa as he pulled up his sleeve, barely wincing as the glowing metal brand was stamped into his forearm.  Once the branding was complete, he stepped to the side.

All eyes went to Lexa and the Commander stood up from her throne looking strong and confident.  “There are many challenges ahead,” she said, her voice reminiscent of her many invigorating battle speeches.  “But today we pledge to fight them together!”

The people of every clan pumped their fists into the air and uttered a cry of union.  Then a chant of “Hed-a! Hed-a! Hed-a!” began and grew until the room shook with their cheers. 

Clarke met Lexa’s gaze over the chants and celebration and they shared a smile.

———

Clarke met Kane, Abby, Raven and Bellamy at the throne room doors once most of the delegates had gone.

“She didn’t mention ALLIE’s warning,” Kane said, glancing back towards the throne. 

Clarke shook her head.  “A fight for another day.  Today was about unity,” she said.

“How is she?” Abby asked.

Clarke glanced back, finding Lexa’s silhouette as she stood in the sun out on the balcony looking out over Polis.

She looked back at her Mom and gave her a quick smile.  “She’s getting stronger every day.”

“The biometric interface from the AI must help her body with pain as well as healing.  You’d never know she was injured judging by today,” Raven said.

Clarke nodded, knowing all too well Lexa’s abilities to hide her pain.  Changing the subject she addressed Raven.  “Have you found anything?”

“We’re digging through the Ark servers… pulling up any information we can find about Nuclear plant locations, cross referencing the fallout radius, trying to identify potential safe zones.”

“Do we even know if it’s true?” Clarke asked.

Kane shook his head.  “If we can manage to regain a digital link with the remaining Ark technology in orbit, maybe we can do an orbital scan.  Outside of that we’re putting together an expedition team to search the house ALLIE came from.  Maybe there’s technology there we can leverage.”

“Who’s leading that team?” she asked

Kane looked at Bellamy.  

“I am.  I’m taking Murphy,” Bellamy said.

Clarke nodded.

Abby stepped forward and put her hand on Clarke’s arm.  “Are you coming home?” she asked quietly.

Clarke’s gaze drifted unconsciously back to Lexa’s figure across the room.  When she looked back at Abby, her eyes held the answer.  She shook her head.  “No Mom.  My place is here now.”

Abby nodded, a resigned sadness in her expression.  

Kane nodded to Clarke.  “May we meet again,” he said.

She nodded.

———

Clarke closed the doors to the throne room after the last of the guards exited.  She paused to take a breathe.  It had been an important day.  A day she had worked towards since they landed on the ground and the path between that day and this was paved with many bodies.

She turned back towards the room and made her way out to the balcony.  She stopped a moment to take in Lexa who stood looking out at the city below.  Part of her was amazed she was standing at all given the fact that she’d almost died.  And despite the help of the Flame, she knew Lexa was still hiding the full extent of her pain from her.  Clarke had seen the angry, festering wound in her side weeks ago.  She’d changed the bandages and tended to it since then until that very morning.

They were lucky, she thought not for the first time.  For once, they were lucky.  Then her forehead wrinkled and she shook her head to herself.  But of course, their luck wouldn’t hold long.  ALLIE had warned her they had a mere six months, less now, before the majority of the earth was once again uninhabitable.  This was a problem no treaty and no army could fix.  It was crushingly daunting.

“I can feel you worrying,” Lexa’s voice brought her back to the moment at hand.

She looked up and met Lexa’s eyes as she glanced back over her shoulder at her with a knowing smile.

Clarke graced her with a smile in return and stepped up beside her, feeling the full force of the rare sunlight on her face and looking out beyond the city to the distant mountains.

“I can’t help it,” she said.

“I know,” Lexa said, the smile still audible in her voice.

Clarke turned to her, watching her profile.  “Lexa, what are we going to do?”

“What we always do,” she said.  She turned to look at Clarke.  “We fight.”

“But how…” Clarke began, but Lexa silenced her by brushing her thumb across Clarke’s lips.

Lexa cupped her cheek gently, her eyes trailing across Clarke’s face, stopping a moment on her mouth before meeting her eyes again.  “Clarke,” she said softly.  “There will always be another fight.  There will always be struggle and conflict and work to be done.”  

Clarke looked into Lexa’s eyes, seeing so much emotion passing through them.  Confidence.  Ferocity.  Diplomacy.  Kindness.  Compromise.  Love.  The Commander’s stoic mask was gone and the full force and feeling of Lexa’s soul was laid bare in her eyes in that moment.  Clarke couldn’t help but be drawn in.  Lexa had always captivated her more than any other.  Challenged her like no other.  Loved her like no other.

She lifted her hand, gently stroking her thumb along Lexa’s cheek.

“The future will always be uncertain,” Lexa said quietly.  “But today, this one day, this is ours.”

“We finally have peace,” Clarke said, tears forming in her eyes.  “Even if it’s only for a short time.”

“It wouldn’t have happened without you,” Lexa said.

“Or you,” Clarke said with a smile.  “I guess we make a pretty good team.”

Lexa smiled, “We do.”  Her smile faded as she stared into Clarke eyes.  “I love you, Clarke,” she said.

Clarke smiled again, the tears spilling over and trailing down her cheeks.  “I love you too Lexa,” she whispered.

Their lips came together gently at first, but the kiss quickly deepened and they wrapped themselves in each others arms.  Embracing each other and the moment of peace they had fought so hard for.  This day was theirs.  Tomorrow they would continue their fight for a future, however imperfect.

—End—

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed this alternate telling on the events in Season 3. Comments are welcome. Until next time!


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